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Another story:

Just now was riding in a bus. At first I don’t notice her, but after a while I see that the girl sitting in the opposite lane is quite cute. I keep reading my Kindle and watching her. After a while a guy with a beer bottle taps on my shoulder and asks me whether reading it doesn’t hurt my eyes :D. He seems still hangover from yesterday, but I explain that it’s a different kind of screen, and just then the bus pulls up and he’s not stable enough so her stumbles back :D. Me and the girl exchange glances and a smile.

Soon her stop comes and she gets up and stands near the door. I notice the drunk guys tries to say something to her, but she just shakes her head and gets off.

Now, the drunk guy had the guts to say something, but I didn’t :D. Let’s look at the possible scenarios: while we’re sitting I could have just said: Hi, my name’s X, what’s yours? Where are you going? I’m going there and there. Or at the moment when she’s already standing near the door, I could’ve tapped on her shoulder and said: Sorry, I know this is odd and unexpected, but I find you very pretty and would like to know your name and phone number, so I could see you again.

I find both of these things totally cool to do, and if I saw another guy do it, I’d be like: Hell yeah, you’re awesome! And if I did them I’d be fucking proud of myself. But somehow my emotions in the situation don’t match my conscious rational understanding. Shame and nervousness kicks in and I say nothing.

I really hope this is a gradual work and the most important thing is to be aware of one’s feelings and not beat oneself up because it doesn’t happen overnight. I hope that witch each step I’ll be closer and closer to taking action.

Btw, I have taken action before, and said I liked some girls out of the blue, and gotten a phone number immediately. But somehow just doing it once or twice doesn’t really break the cycle, so to speak.