Reply To: on the advice to "just be yourself"
I agree that “be yourself” fails miserably as advice–but i’m not sure I agree that “be yourself” means building your identity–and to be honest there’s some things about the description in the original post that are cookie-cutter and don’t really appeal to me. i see it as a release rather than a construction. Ever hear of people who suffer from depression, anxiety, etc. say something like “If I could just get rid of the x feelings, I would be fully real, I would truly be myself?”
I see it as more like that. The hangups being things like social anxiety, fear of approaching/escalation/talking to girls etc/not knowing what to do in sexual situations…
I tend see this stuff as innate, but socially blocked off for some people. To me, “Be Yourself” means to release that. Which obviously someone telling you to “Be YOurself” is not going to help.