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see my post about the The Mindset. your “friend” is not your friend when it comes to his own interests, he’ll date her without giving you a second thought. you can count on that.

same as her, if she senses that he’s a better fit for her she’ll go with him instead of you. don’t be surprised if she sleeps with him either. what she told you about not sleeping don’t take at face value.

as far as what MrA said “If she pursues you after that, well fine, take it from there–but maybe best if she doesn’t.” that won’t happen as women rarely pursue. so you can forget about that. the only person that’s pursuing is your “friend” and she reciprocates favorably if she wants him.

so my advice:
1. don’t rely on your friend. he’ll do what’s right for him, not for you. and definitely don’t read his texts with her. the only thing you can ask of him is that he keeps his business to himself and not talk to you about it. getting into their business will eat you alive. better to focus on what’s right for you.
2. if you want her, try and get her. court her. be aggressive. eventually based on HER interests and what she sees as the optimal match for her she’ll decide between the two of you. don’t take this personally. she’ll do what’s right for her.

just know the goal is to find a girl that puts you in first priority. put your needs above these two. I personally couldn’t even date a girl that said she will wait until marriage for sex, so i’m pretty surprised you’re even interested in this girl.

try and get her emotionally invested though (you do that by her having sex with you). i know she said she doesn’t want to have sex. but if you make out with her next time, try and slip a finger here and there, get her horny enough to where she goes off the deep end and has sex with you anyway. (if you won’t i’m sure your friend will..)