Reply To: The Mindset
My experience with indirect openers like ‘how do you get to Starbucks’ or ‘how’s the food here?’ is that they get you into a productive personal conversation with a girl about 1/20 times.
There’s probably people who can do a lot better than that – but that’s my experience as someone who has had no formal coaching.
I find direct approaches get me into personal conversation maybe 5/10 times, and I probably get attraction 2/10 times. So numbers-wise I think direct is better just for practice getting into conversation with random women. I honestly don’t like going direct that much, but that is good experience for a newbie who just wants to get used to chatting up girls.
When I first started dabbling with this stuff about 6 years ago, I used to use opinion openers similar to the ones used in ‘the Game’. I have not used them at all since making a real commitment to improving this area in my life – but looking back they worked far better than any ‘situational’ indirect opener. I just think I would feel lame using them now.
I think direct openers are great for guys like me who are still beginners but not total beginners. At the end of the day they have got me into personal conversation with more gorgeous women than anything else I’ve tried – that is great for desensitising yourself to that fear. They are also great for improving your self image – I find when I hear myself saying these ballsy things it actually start to see myself differently. Indirect does not do that for you.
But I agree that going from zero to direct approaches is ridiculous. I had a friend that was doing some free writing work for one of the ‘top’ day game coaches here in London, and the guy repaid him with some free coaching. I should add at this point that my friend was a Virgin at 26. The coach was getting him to run up to women who were walking in the street with a direct approach – probably one of the scariest things you can do. Needless to say, my friend made no progress and found the experience terrifying.
I honestly think all the pickup coaches here in London – at least the ones with any profile – are total scammers.