Reply To: After second date.
To your last point, the way you beat anxiety is through exposure therapy.
The way I beat my approach anxiety is I went to huge cities and would run up to girls 8 hours a day. I did this in Washington Square park in nyc, I’d actually go up to every single girl in washington square park in a summer. Sitting on the grass, sitting on the bench, I just went up to every single one I could see with a direct approach and I made sure other girls would see me approach different girls. I did it for hours and hours. Same in Las Vegas, I would go to clubs and just approach every single girl I could see. Same in London, I’d go for hours in Oxford Circus right outside TopShop (and inside topshop) running after girls and talking to them again and again and again.
After approach anxiety came sexual anxiety. The way I beat it was through going through every sexual encounter imaginable to man with a host of different girls. To the point where I was stopped thinking about it as anxiety. Now it’s completely natural for me to do anything i want sexually really.
As far as “what to do” you know what to do. I’m telling you what to do. You don’t need anything special beyond going up to a girl, inviting her out, and escalating. That’s really it. “how” and analyzing is just a anxiety driven paralyzing thing. You get through your anxieties by doing the hard work not by talking about it and sitting in a forum with other guys talking about “game”. It doesn’t help at all. I went through all this I’m telling you this from experience.
I remember reading about game a few years ago, going through all the theory. And it didn’t do ANYTHING it didn’t help at all. What worked was actually going into the field and experiencing everything first hand. Getting the experience. For example, what you said about flirting. That was a revelation that came to me after my second year doing this. But I couldn’t have got it from talking to other guys about it. I got there by speaking to many girls and figuring out that they prefer a lighthearted banter as opposed to serious talk.