Reply To: What do women actually find attractive during conversation?
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Both flirting and banter are good in great moderation. Think of someone really socially awkward. When they are in uncomfortable situations, they will either be totally silent or they will talk a lot and ask lots and lots of questions. If they’re silent, they will try to totally disappear. And if they’re talking, they have to fill up all of the silence. It takes confidence to sit there in silence with a little smirk on your face just observing someone. Most people are not comfortable enough to do it. How much does James Bond talk? Just enough to give you that sense that he doesn’t give a shit what you think of him and he doesn’t care if you think what’s he’s saying is inappropriate. That’s how much you should be talking. Even when you’re telling a story, your objective is really to give your date that sense that she isn’t contributing enough, that she’s not as interesting as you are, that she has to work hard to impress you. Flirting and bantering endlessly is YOU trying to impress HER.