Reply To: What do women actually find attractive during conversation?
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Women are attracted to the behavior of the most desirable men. The world is too complex for women to be able to tell whether a man really is successful, really is a leader, and really will have the resources to take care of their children.
Instead, women look for the behavior that is correlated with success, current or future. Successful men are more confident, more daring, worry less about the opinions of others, and have very high standards for the kind of women that they’re interested in. All of the elements of conversation SomeguyUK listed are related to these correlates of the behavior of the most desirable men.
Flirting and banter do not, generally fall into the category of high value behavior. Think of the kind of flirting that James Bond does. Is it haha funny, comfortable, and friendly? No. It’s a little sinister. It’s very suggestive. It’s very aggressive. And there’s really not much of it. That’s the right model for flirting. The other approach – the laugh a minute approach – comes across as nervous, jittery, and less confident.
You’re not there to make women comfortable. You’re there to show them that you’re valuable.