Reply To: "Deep thoughts" opener

[SomeguyUK]

Yeah man, I get the appeal of situational openers. They are what I’ve been doing mostly so far. But I am finding they rarely get me into an actual personal conversation with the girl. Although admittedly, perhaps I’m not trying hard enough to transition, or not doing it in the right way.

I get what you are saying about the ‘honest direct’ approach but personally I only feel comfortable doing with girls who are knockout gorgeous, and I need to practice with a few easier opportunities too.

It seems like there are pros and cons to EVERY type of opener. Here’s my experiences so far:

Direct

Good -gets you in to personal conversation immediately, no messing around. Sometimes the girls are impressed by your confidence.

Bad – It takes a lot of balls, sometimes it’s just too damn scary.
Can feel very stressful and embarrassing especially if there’s lots of people in earshot. Feels inappropriate in a lot of places e.g quiet bookstore. Higher blowout rate. Not good for groups.

Situational

Good – Takes less balls, don’t need to be warmed up so much to do it. Does not intimidate the shyer girls, and some girls like the fact that you are taking the subtle route. Better for groups.

Bad – can require thinking, and often while you’re thinking you miss the window of opportunity. Harder to get into personal conversation, sometimes the girl gets creeped out when she realises you were hitting on her.

Instantly flirty/polarizing

Good – can get you in the door nicely, creates a sexual dynamic instantly

Bad – again takes a lot of balls, not good for groups, comes off looking a bit needy if you are acting the clown, high blowout rate

Opinion opener

Good – good for groups, works in a variety of situations, lower blowout rate, takes less balls, easier to transition.

Bad – Can waste a lot of time, makes it look like you aren’t very confident, can come across creepy

Seems like there isn’t anything that doesn’t have it’s downsides or incompatibilities. So I’m just trying everything.