Reply To: Petition to get ryano to stay
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Thanks MrAntiquity and you SomeguyUK, your story gave me a big smile and inspired me to give you this LAST tip:
*AND I DO MEAN LAST* tip dammit!
Cause you’re almost there. you’re right on the cusp of “getting it” I can see it. And I just need to impart you with this last bit.
Your instadate makeout is good news. But it’s trivial, trust me. Just keep pushing that sexual boundary you’ll be amazed at how far girls are willing to go. They’re simply following what the guy’s lead/comfort level is. (as I mentioned in my NGAF post your comfort level is dictated by the amount of rejections/experience you’ve gotten in your past).
Your responsibility is to always get them to break decision nodes. Here are a few example decision nodes:
1. have them stop and talk to you
2. ask for the number
3. get them to respond to a text
4. ask them out on a date
5. be flirty on the date
6. be touchy/feely on the date
7. getting them go up to your apartment
8. making out with her.
9. having sex.
You can also see these as escalation points. I mean there’s many more, these are just general for the sake of example (and they don’t need to be in this order necessarily). Now it’s your duty (as the man/leader) to go through each of these points with the girl. She will NOT help you with any of them, like she won’t say “wanna take me up to your apartment?”. So basically, you just present them and see how she reacts. At ANY one of these points she can reject you. And that’s fine. (We just go with another girl if that happens).
But it’s important to at the very least PRESENT them as an option to the girl. Because you simply do not know what the girl’s boundaries are unless you atleast ask her. For example, let’s say I’ve had a fun date with a girl. Before we part ways I almost always ask “Wanna come over my apartment for another drink?” She either says yes or no. This is the crux of polarization. But I make *SURE* I atleast try to ask or present her with the option.
A great video that talks about this is:
Remember what I said that the amount of girls you’re sleeping with is linearly proportional to the amount of girls you are asking to come to your apartment? You will be surprised that the majority of girls will come up to your apartment, even if you’ve had a lukewarm date. I’ll give you some avg statistics. If I have a date with 4 girls, 2-3 will usually come up to my apartment if I so much as ask, and 1 is usually down for actually having sex. The main problem most guys have is that they aren’t willing to even ASK. (This is mainly due to neediness and not understanding that it’s EASY to get more phone numbers and more girls). You *MUST* be ok with the risk of losing the girl. And funny enough, girls will hardly ever be mad at you for atleast trying. If anything, if you DON’T even attempt to try they won’t talk to you again (as explained in my older posts).
So for example, I could have a girl over my place. I can try and go for the makeout but she won’t want to do it. Or I might try and get things hot and heavy but she just won’t be down. But it’s not like she’ll hate me for trying. Alot of the times she’ll just be ok to do it “next time”. But some girls, you’d be surprised, are sooooo horny they just can’t WAIT for you to take them to your apartment and do the monkey dance with them. That’s why you always need to atleast present them with that option.
Also how well you “flirt” will generally dictate how far up the escalation ladder the girl will be willing to go. If you suck at flirting she will most likely run for the hills. So it’s to your benefit to be very good at it flirting.
1. read boytoy’s diaries on his website. you’ll feel like a virgin if you read them. =)
2. read my post about “laying the pipe” – http://approachanxiety.com/forums/topic/how-to-lay-the-pipe-on-a-first-date/
And that’s that.. good luck!
p.s PLEASE don’t be upset if I don’t reply to any more messages. mb I’ll check back in a few weeks. I have other things to worry about atm. Take care guys and again, thank you for making me feel so welcome.