Reply To: "spontaneous" vs "structured"

[ryano]

Well I do like the conversation example you gave cartoox, and the “race, loser buys coffee thing”. so you do seem like you know what you’re doing.

But that example that I gave you with the exotic dancer, I mean, I’ve said that once in my life to a girl. What I meant was, I usually just say what I want, whatever amuses *ME* at the moment. And it’s always different.

Similarly, I don’t have the same conversations with my friends everytime I talk to them. Or let’s say I go to a business convention. I don’t rehearse how I “open” people. I just talk to them and say whatever I talk. Same with girls. Girls should be no different than ANYBODY. The moment you change yourself, your persona for a girl– then you’re the one that’s working for her.

So I’m not trying hard, I’m not trying at all quite frankly. Do you think I “rehearsed” what I thought about saying in this thread before I wrote it? Absolutely not, these words that I’m writing right now on this keyboard are coming realtime through my thoughts and that’s all I’m telling you guys to do when you talk to women. But some guys think it’s hard because they’re not comfortable enough to do that. Or they think they need something special to impress them, like they need to be this super-human being. Which is bullshit. We’re all just human. All you need to do is be 1% better than the other guy, not 100% better.

Also I know, quite frankly, I can say ANYTHING verbally to a girl that’s why I don’t even make a deal out of the verbal or the content SO much. Vibe is something that can’t be explained. It’s the sexual “tone” in the air. Something that can only be conveyed with body language. In a pickup forum here all we have is characters on a screen.

There’s alot more to all of this than just what we say. But I’m just trying to convey spontaneity to these guys because that’s what indicates to the girl that you’re “carefree” and makes her feel comfortable around you.