Reply To: "spontaneous" vs "structured"

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@ Ryanno

Please take a moment to read the bottom of my opening post :

These days, I almost never lie or bullshit to girls. I don’t feel the need to. More often, I challenge them…”

I avoid making up professions like “ I’m a male exotic dancer “ or similar stuff….( as you’ve mentioned in another thread on this forum )

That’s too try hard for me.

I have a simple script ( one that Lee helped me develop ) that I tell girls….and I follow it….and the more I do it, the more ‘natural’ it sounds….I am after all describing what I really do….

Girls will ask what I do only when they are beginning to take an interest.…..

Sometimes at a high energy place like a party or a bar, the conversation might go as follows :

Girl : so…what do you do….?
Me : Me ?….In my dreams or in my reality ?
Girl : haha……you must be doing something …..?!
Me : I don’t “must” be doing anything girl, but you seem intelligent so take a guess, what do you think I do….?
Girl:…hmmm…….I dunno….er…..
Me : ok, I’ll give you a hint, it’s the second oldest profession in the world …
Girl : ( usually a smile comes up now ) ….hmmmm…. wait, you’re not a pimp are you …..or maybe a gigolo…..?
Me : ( feigning indignation ) … OMG, you have a dirty mind and a terrible opinion of your fellow man, don’t you girl….( I laugh now ) nope, no money in being a gigolo, that is one area where women outshine men….
I am a …….( and I continue with my script )

In bars and events, I’ve played out this conversation with minor variations many times…

In more quiet circumstances ( café, street corner , subway ) I shorten it a bit, but that’s pretty much how it goes….

Role play during banter is an effective way to get people to open up….So I’ll say stuff like “ in another life, this is what I dreamt of being ….I’d have my own chocolate factory, I love chocolates, I figure I’d either make money & do what I loved, or if it didn’t work out, simply eat all the chocolate I couldn’t sell and die super fat and super happy with a huge grin on my face….what about you girl, who would you be in your dreams/if you could do it all over again…..?”

In my case, without getting into a 15-20 minute conversation with a girl on an approach, regardless of opener, the number almost always flakes…. Also, talking helps to discover if she’s worth wasting time on….some girls are total whack jobs or bores….

@ dyonisos – for a girl walking in the same direction, I’ll sometimes open with “ Hey , you’re walking real fast, come, I’ll race you to the crosswalk/starbucks… loser buys coffee”……( and then segue into what she does or deep thoughts )

I don’t like to run up to fast moving girls from behind to pay them a compliment ( the way the guys used to teach before and all their youtube videos show) so I rarely do that anymore. Some guys can pull it off but I don’t enjoy it so much….I learnt very fast that if I can’t maintain an interesting conversation , they will very quickly say “ Thank you “ and walk away ( as some one else once posted in this forum ) …so its back to the importance of what comes after the opener….which is where I started my opening post to this thread.

@ some guy UK

You’re right, its important to have good conversation skills, and weave in and out , between the scripts and the spontaneous stuff that comes up as our conversation with the girl develops…