Reply To: What to do?

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Good! You are still where you want to be. Here is what you need to do. Show this girl a good time. Take her out. Have fun.

Don’t push for sex. If she is the initiator, you can do it. But don’t be the one who is expressing a need for sex. Presumably, you could be getting it elsewhere. She should feel like she’s teetering on the edge of your friend zone and is always in danger of falling in.

If she wants to talk about the other guy or her social life or your social life, tell her you’re not there yet. “Let’s not make this into a big melodrama. You have your private life and I have mine. I’m good with that for now. If we’re ever at a point where things need to be discussed, we’ll discuss them. But we’re not there yet.”

Don’t spend half the day with her. The dates should be a couple of hours long. Be the one to end them. Leave her wanting more. There should be big gaps between dates. A week and a half to two weeks at least. There should be several days between texts. Don’t respond to each of her texts. You don’t have time. You have other things going on. Disappear for three days at a time. When you do text back after disappearing, here is what you’re trying to convey: “hey. sorry, so busy. too many moving parts! not in a bad way, though :-)” Like that. A little mysterious, a little out of her reach.

This is what you’re trying to achieve: She has a lot of fun with you but you’re not around enough. You seem to have other things going on. She’s no longer in control of your emotions. You’re not needy. You’re not asking her to do anything. She wants more but can’t get it.

What do you want to eventually happen? You want her to come to you and ask for more. If you play this right, if you’re the source of fun and positive energy in her life, she will eventually ask for more. Don’t rush. This kind of reversal of the power dynamic takes time. Meanwhile, keep dating other people. Do not overinvest. Presumably, this is important enough to you to play it right.