Reply To: Mindset question
If you want to learn to box, you will initially imitate a boxer. At first, all of the movements will feel awkward. You are just imitating. At that point, if you were actually in a fight, you’d be better off doing what you knew before you started to learn boxing. However, over time, the new style becomes your natural style, and, eventually, you’ll be a boxer.
Same with pickup. You can’t will yourself to be less outcome dependent with women. Initially, you can only imitate someone who is less outcome dependent. Set up a bunch of rules for yourself that help you imitate that person. For example, every couple of minutes, drop the conversation entirely. If she doesn’t pick it up, say “Hey, I gotta run. Nice chatting with you.” And go. After a while, the idea that a woman should be giving something back will become natural to you, and you will lose the desire to keep going when she’s not giving something back.
Little by little, as you imitate the behavior of someone you want to become, you will become that person. It’s just a matter of time and repetition.