Reply To: direct/indirect opener question

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Eric Disco

My solution: have something to say for every venue, at least until you get comfortable. There should almost never be a situation where you have NOTHING to say to a woman.

Typically in art venues you have a lot of leeway to go indirect because there is some great subject matter right in front of you. It’s almost weird to not talk about the art. And the fact that you aren’t into it doesn’t matter. In fact it’s almost better if you’re not into it. It’s good to disagree with women.

No matter what venue you’re in, the first two steps are the same. Step one is to get to the place. You got that down. Step Two is to position yourself next to her. Walk up and stand next to her facing in the same direction as her. This positioning exercise helps prevent you from getting into that black hole I call standing-and-staring-from-a-distance syndrome. If you can automatically position yourself to women whenever you’re attracted, it reduces 75% of the work.

Next, say something. Like I said, you don’t need to be into the art. I’m truly into about 20% of the art I see at museums and galleries. Doesn’t matter. A few options:

So… what do you think? (looking at the art piece)
Who’s the artist?
Are you the artist?
I dunno… I just don’t get it.

This is the same mundane opener that you would use in any venue. In a store you might ask about an item, etc.

Ryan is right in that waiting 25 minutes to talk to her is a KILLER. She’ll see it all over your face. You’ll be awkward and stilted. The longer you wait, the worse the interaction will go.

That being said… at least you did it. Give yourself credit for that. It’s better late than never.