Reply To: How to ask a girl from the gym on the date?

[ryano]

Let me just add one last thing here cause I think this discussion is important. And it’s something that I struggled with for a couple years before I figured this out and got seriously good at this.

But I want to look deeply at what you’re doing here:
“And if she says no i might feel awkward afterwards seeing her in the gym again.”
“Plus if she says no I’ll fall into that category next guy who asked her out in the gym.”
“Then she said let’s do it another time. What should you do in this case?”
“Lee, what would you say? How many days in advance i should offer her that?”

You need to understand that you’re putting her above yourself. You’re creating all these rules and regulations as for what to do and what to not do to satisfy HER. This will jeopardize yourself with her. I’d bet it already has quite truthfully. because it comes across in your demeanor like you’re trying to play it “safe”. That’s no fun for girls. They view safety as boring, and very predictable.

When you play “the game”. You’re doing what pretty much every other guy out there does. It clouds your own unique personality and makes you a societal clone. “How many days should I wait before BLABLA, what should I say when I see here”. All this nonsense needs to go out the window.

I would heavily advise you to start doing what YOU want to do and don’t care so much about what people think. And by that I mean, text her whenever you want. talk to her or ask her out any way YOU want. and when I say “you” I mean it’s up to you when to do all that. You don’t need other men telling you when to do it.

You’re cluttering your unique personality with stupid rules. I used to do that alot. Now I do whatever I want at all times because I’m not trying to be safe with them and that’s ironically what they want. I actually make it a point to go against all the “rules” that men make for themselves. So sometimes when a girl takes 10 hours to write me back, I’ll msg her right away and tell her “wow it only took you 10 hours to respond?”. Or on the date I’ll start talking about sexual things off the bat. Or on the approach I say whatever I want, whatever amuses me. Because my amusement is more important to me than the girl.

Be yourself. be your real self. stop trying to prove yourself to anybody or asking people how to act. And most importantly don’t be afraid to lose them. Another part of being yourself and doing what you want is talking to new girls each and every day so you’re never in a lack of options.