Do Guys Ever Do Worse at a Workshop?

“This is the most important part of the weekend,” I say to the guys in the workshop.

“Now comes the time when we brag about how awesome we did.”

One student is not doing awesome. Or at least he feels that way.

We just spent the last four hours going around Manhattan talking to women in different locations.

We went to bookstores, cafe’s, supermarkets, records stores, in parks and just walking down the sidewalk.

“I’m actually doing worse,” Mark says. “I’ve gotten phone numbers from women before, but today I didn’t get any. It’s like I was so nervous, maybe I was putting too much pressure on myself.”

This bragging session truly is the most important part of the weekend. It’s not because I want the guys to think they had a better experience than they really did, it’s good to be honest with yourself.

It is the most important part of the weekend because it’s where we learn to appreciate our victories.

When you have a great day out there trying to meet women, you don’t need anyone to tell you to buck up and keep going. You feel great. There is no better feeling.

It’s those days when it seems like you aren’t making progress that you need to appreciate yourself. “Massive Support,” as we say in Pickup 101.

By getting out there and challenging yourself, you are making progress, no matter how small the increments, even if it seems like you are going backwards on some days.

Going around the circle, the students take turns and talk about their experiences.

Zaid, who is a master at banter and night game, talks about how difficult it is for him to tone it down and actually connect with a girl.

“What you did is brave,” I tell Zaid. “If this were tennis, you’d have an amazing backhand. And instead of going to your backhand, you worked on your forehand, something you’re not as good at.”

And it’s true.

It’s not easy to do something you’re not as good at. Some of us are really good at some things.

Maybe you’re an expert computer programmer. Or a surgeon, like one of the guys in our class. Or you are good at making money.

It’s not easy to go back to kindergarten and learn something you’re not as good at, like meeting women.

It takes a brave man to learn something he’s not good at.

By the time we get back around to Mark, I can see his posture has changed.

He’s already looking over the day with a different light, doing the most important thing possible, which is appreciating himself.

The next day we go out¡Ä and he’s an animal. He meets a fantastic girl and goes on an instant date with her. He puts all the tools he learned in the workshop, both day game and rapport, to good use.

Makin’ me proud!

And he wasn’t the only one to have breakthroughs. All the guys, at all different levels, had phenomenal experiences.

A confident Asian American guy, who had difficulty making himself vulnerable ended up on an coffee date with a girl who is one of the most beautiful I’ve seen on the streets of New York.

Other guys, who had never approached a woman before, ended up with phone numbers and amazing experiences with beautiful women. All because they were willing to take that first step.

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posted in Coaching Experiences