3 Steps to Feeling Good About Yourself in Social Situations

1. Know Yourself

I am an introvert. That means I need time alone to recharge.

You may see this as a weakness when it comes to pickup, but it’s also a strength. It means I am inherently sensitive. Yes sometimes I am hypersensitive.

But I have an advantage in connecting with one other person, even if I do have a disadvantage in connecting with five other people at a time.

To know yourself is to know where you are in this process.

I have done a lot of work on myself in this area. I have made wonderful progress. I feel wonderful in certain situations where before I would have felt fear and uncertainty.

In small groups of friends I am way more comfortable than I used to be. I used to have trouble with this. And I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to be able to enjoy that now instead of being hypersensitive about things which I don’t need to be.

To know yourself is to know where you want to be.

I still have work to do. There are still situations where I don’t feel comfortable, where I would like to.

I don’t enjoy the club scene as much as I’d like to. Oftentimes I just don’t have fun. But I love the energy, just as I love the energy of New York City. I believe I can tap into that energy and enjoy it. Learning to enjoy it in some way is one of my goals.

Goals help you to keep focused and know you are improving even if the struggle is long.

2. Accept Yourself

To accept yourself is to live in the moment.

You can have goals but still be ready to enjoy yourself now. It can be difficult and challenging but you can still embrace the struggle from moment to moment.

Find ways to celebrate even the smallest of victories.

To accept yourself is to accept all of your feelings.

Be ready to accept the uncomfortable emotions that go along with this struggle.

Accepting allows you to feel and experience even painful moments while minimizing suffering. The suffering comes from thinking that you shouldn’t be feeling something.

Learn to accept every feeling and you learn to accept yourself.

When you can stop judging your own feelings, you stop judging yourself.

3. Love Yourself

Easier said than done.

Love is not a commandment. I am not commanding you to love yourself. I believe that’s bullshit. It’s not something you can just turn on.

The kind of love I’m talking about is commitment.

To love yourself is to be committed to experiencing life.

To love yourself is to allow yourself to experience everything you want in life.

How much commitment do you have to this process of interacting with other people?

How willing are you to experience rejection and love yourself anyway?

The best way to know yourself is not to run off onto a mountain and be alone and meditate, but to interact with other people. You have been avoiding it all your life and that is a sign that you haven’t loved yourself enough.

You weren’t sure whether you were acceptable. You are. You no longer need to live your life as an apology.

There is nothing else you need to change on your own before you begin interacting with other people.

Make a commitment to experience everything and everyone in life you want to.

Make a commitment to this process of finding out just how much you love yourself. You deserve to talk to other people, including strangers.

To love yourself is to challenge yourself.

You deserve to be challenged and talk to people who you are attracted to. You want to be loved but you don’t want to be loved by just anyone. You want to be challenged.

You want to step out of your comfort zone and find that love. You want to live up to your fullest potential. You want to find yourself doing things that you never dreamed possible. That’s self-love!

When you challenge yourself, you love yourself.

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posted in Acceptance