“I feel terrible,” my client tells me.
“I’ve been doing my affirmations, and they’re helping. But I can’t stop thinking about her.”
And then he admits to me: he’s been in contact with his nemesis again.
He was seeing her briefly.
But she told him that she wants to be ‘friends with benefits’ and then that she needs space.
Now he can’t get her to meet up with him.
He relays to me the interactions he’s had with her in the last two weeks.
It’s really true what they say: Love is blind.
My client has a lot of experience with women. He meets women every week. But because he’s so into this girl, he can’t see how needy he’s being.
I see guys doing this kind of stuff all the time:
In any of these scenarios, it logically wouldn’t hurt to give her another chance.
Send another text.
Give her a call on the phone if she doesn’t return a text.
Take her out on one more date to see if that’s the date when she feels comfortable enough to hook up with you.
What do you have to lose? If she says no or isn’t responsive, who cares?
Sure, once in a while sending her repeated texts will eventually win her over. There’s something to be said for commitment.
The problem is that it is almost impossible to not get invested in a girl.
We all like to think that our feelings are not out of control. After all, you don’t really even know this girl too well.
But the truth is…
The more you text her, call her, invite her out, without any reciprocal investment on her part, the worse you feel.
The more times it happens, the more you send her a very clear message: it’s okay to treat me like shit.
And every time you send her that message, you feel worse about yourself.
The solution is to never put yourself in that position in the first place.
If you’re about to do something where a lack of investment from her could leave you hurt or angry, don’t do it.
Letting a woman treat you badly comes across as needy. The less you let women do it, the better you’ll feel. The better you feel, the better your game will be.
It’s possible you might lose this woman, but if she’s acting badly, you’ve probably already lost her anyway.
Think about your life in the big picture:
You teach people how to treat you. The less shit you tolerate, the less shit people give you. They start to sense how much you will tolerate.
And if you teach her that it’s okay to treat you badly, she’ll keep doing it. And when she does, you’ll feel bad about yourself.
posted in RelationshipsCOMMENTS
You just explained my last relationship, dissected it and showed me what was going on. I don’t feel shit anymore 🙂 Thanks
My situation too. Especially the part of breaking off meeting her. The I’m too busy is right on, then I see here out and about. I don’t need her crap!