Question:
What kind of person just goes up to someone and just wants to say hi? She’ll think I’m after something and her defense will go up.
Response:
It is weird to just walk up to people and talk to them.
Also, she’ll probably think you’re crazy.
She’ll think you’re trying to sell her something.
And she’s probably too hot, a girl like that gets hit on 50 times a day.
Or maybe she’s not hot enough, you want someone you’re REALLY attracted to.
Or she’s too busy.
She’s not your type.
She’ll think you’re a stalker.
You’re not dressed right today.
You need to learn how to do [xxx] before you approach her.
You’re not in the mood today.
You’ll start tomorrow.
It’s raining out.
It’s too hot out.
It’s too cold out.
You don’t have anything to offer her.
You’ve got somewhere important to be.
There’s nothing cool going on in your life to talk about.
You need to practice [xxx] before you do this.
You’re too focused on something else in your life.
In this situation, there is no way to talk to her without creeping her out.
You’re not cool enough.
You’re not dressed cool enough, you need to buy new clothes first.
You’re not handsome enough.
You’re bald or short or fat or not the type of person she wants to talk to.
You’ve waited too long, its too late to talk to her.
You’ll start next week.
You have a date with a girl, you don’t need to approach more women.
She’ll be really inconvenienced if you interrupt her.
She doesn’t look like she wants to be approached.
She’s in a conversation with her friend.
She’s alone but she’s probably waiting for someone.
There are too many people around.
She’ll get creeped out because there’s nobody around.
She has headphones on.
This is a bad part of town.
Nobody approaches people in the bookstore/supermarket/subway.
She’s walking too fast.
You could open her but then you wouldn’t know what to say.
You haven’t approached anyone in weeks or months.
You have never approached anyone and don’t know how to do it.
You didn’t do any warm ups.
This will be in vain because you might be able do it today but you won’t be able to approach again tomorrow.
…
Did I miss any excuses? I’m SURE you’ll be able to come up with more. There is no end to the brilliant excuses your mind generates.
It is ALL a manifestation of your approach anxiety.
Here’s what you do:
Go out and approach a woman. If you can’t approach her, write down your excuses.
Go home and think about how lame those excuses are. Write down a response to each excuse on the same sheet of paper if you want.
In fact, write down all the lame excuses you can possibly think of.
Put that piece of paper in your pocket.
Go back out there.
Approach her anyway.
And feel the fucking rush.
Give yourself huge props, no matter the outcome.
Sometimes you get a great response. Sometimes you get a not-so-great response. That is the beauty of this.
You do not know what will happen. She is a human being and anything can happen.
But you are a sexy guy with A LOT of cajones, huge beach-ball sized cajones.
It takes courage to walk up to her. Women sense that and she will be drawn to you even more because of it.
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posted in Acceptance
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