The Pissing Contest

“Great changes are easier than small ones,” said Francis Bacon.

As a corollary, I would say that it’s easier to be good at something than to suck at it.

I started doing yoga recently. And man, it’s BUSTING MY BALLS. I suck at it. I’m taking the beginner’s class, but I think I need a remedial course.

It’s 90 minutes of pain for me.

Part of me wants to start to go 3 or 4 times a week, because I know if I get good at it, it will be easier.

When you suck at something you are always struggling. It’s always an uphill climb.

When you get good at it, there are still challenges. But those challenges feel like they are part of the game, rather than someone constantly hitting you in the face.

When I got into pickup, it was one holy struggle. Man, did I wrestle with it. And the worst part about it, the very worst of the worst, was approach anxiety.

“Why doesn’t anybody talk about this stuff????” I thought to myself. I decided I needed to tackle this issue and I would leave a trail of breadcrumbs as I went. Because I have NO IDEA how to deal with this.

I wanted to become a coach. That was one of my goals. I knew that if I could become a coach, if I could get GREAT at this stuff, it would be easier.

I was tired of struggling at ground zero with being able to approach women I was attracted to. I was tired of these people, other human beings, triggering a fear inside of me, just because they existed.

And I made huge amounts of progress.

It’s funny though, how life always moves the goalposts. You want one thing, and then it’s suddenly not good enough.

We men like to compete. We LOVE to compete. In fact, there are few things better than challenging ourselves. Tell me there’s something I can’t do and I’ll go and do it, motherfuckers. Bring it on.

It’s easy to get addicted to the challenge, to go from one challenge to the next.

There’s always someone cleverer then yourself, always someone with a new pickup line, always a guy out there that can outmaneuver you and get the girl you wanted.

I run with some of the best guys in the world when it comes to meeting women, both inside and outside of Pickup 101. My “game” is pretty tight.

I want to be the best pickup artist in the world, now more than ever. It’s within my grasp.

Welcome to the Pissing Contest.

What did I originally get into this for? What do you want in your life?

I fully advocate going out and dating multiple women, date the hottest women you can find, challenge yourself to all kinds of crazy levels.

But don’t forget what you were looking for.

Here’s what my list looks like, my prime directive:

– Become intimate with my fears and limitations so they no longer haunt me.

– Write a book and learn how to help other guys with what I struggled with

– Find “my” girl, get married and have children.

How far and how long do I keep going with pickup? Is it bringing me happiness?

These are no easy questions. But I know, as I get better at this stuff, that I need to make sure I invest time in myself away “the community,” away from the pissing contest.

Use it for what it is, but don’t lose sight of who I am and what I want to be.

There are many challenges out there calling to me. And many things in life I need to learn.

I have major love for so many people, both close friends and everyone out there challenging themselves, struggling the beautiful struggle.

Keep up the good fight.

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posted in Self-Improvement Strategies