The Number One Factor Affecting Attraction

I see it all the time. In beginners. In advanced guys. The most important factor affecting attraction.

I’ve been playing around a lot with it. And it’s huge.

When I began doing this stuff, it was difficult for me to detect whether I had attraction from a woman. I was nervous, unattuned and just pretty much oblivious to reading her body.

But now I can usually tell.

I’ve been going out day after day, doing this same experiment over and over again.

I see an attractive woman on the street. I approach her.

In a cool relaxed manner, with a voice tone implying she’s my friend, I say “Hey!”

“How are you doing?”

“Good,” she’ll reply. Usually with a smile if she’s attracted.

“Can you tell me how to get to the library?”

She’ll continue to give me directions. And I read her body language to guage whether she is attracted.

Without fail, the number one factor that effects whether I get attraction from the girl is body orientation.

Am I facing her directly or are my hips pointing away from her?

As Lance Mason talks about, attraction is instant. The girl doesn’t sit there and wonder whether she’s attracted to you. It doesn’t take her ten minutes to listen to your stories and analyze your innermost thoughts.

She knows. Right away.

You know this to be true. How long does it take for you to realize you’re attracted to a woman? In less time than it takes to tell–you know.

It doesn’t even matter what comes out of your mouth. You could say “Hey what’s your name?” You could ask for the time. You could say “I like giraffes” or “blah blah blah”. Her body reacts to your body.

This isn’t psychological. It’s biological. It’s a physical process.

Facing her directly says “Wow, I really like you.” Where as from the side says “I’m here, I’m interested, but I’m not won over yet. Let’s see what you got.”

You can verbalize all the disinterest you want. Tell her you’re gay. But she won’t believe you if you’re body is showing interest. Keep talkin and it only makes it worse.

It doesn’t mater if she’s someone you just met, an intimate lover, or a girl friend. If your body is communicating to her “You’ve got me,” she will feel like she doesn’t need to work any more to attract your interest.

When you walk up to her and face her straight on, it shows low-status because of all the interest you’re giving her. You’re validating her from the first moment.

You try not to be the nice guy, and pay her too many compliments, but she knows you’re interested by how you’re facing.

If you don’t face her directly when you first meet, you can then begin to show genuine interest when she starts to tell you things about herself.

And she will start to tell you things about herself in order to gain your interest. This is how the pickup should work.

You have no where to go if you face her dead-on when you first meet her. How are you going to show interest in her if you are already 100% interested? The girl can sense that.

What will happen in the interaction is that you start to turn toward her as she validates herself to you. And every once in a while you turn back and not face her again. You can talk about people around you in the bar or where ever you are. Again, she begins to work for your interest.

She wants a challenge. It’s your job to show her that challenge. She wants to feel like if she were any less of an awesome person, you wouldn’t have been interested.

You are the coolest guy in the bar, and she’s there with you. She’s coming into your world, not the other way around. She feels like a woman when she’s with you. THAT’S attraction.

This comes from our biology. Scientists have studied primates and found that the highest ranking animals, a.k.a. the coolest people in the bar, receive the most head and body orientation from all other individuals.

Head orientation of each individual to all other individuals was distributed such that high-status individuals directed their head orientation toward others at relatively low frequency, wheras low-status individuals did so at relatively high frequency.

Further, high-status individuals received head orientation toward them from other individausl at relatively high frequency but low-status individuals dis so at relatively high frequency.

Social hierarchy is largely an attention hierarcy. Low-ranking individuals (the uncool guys) tend to monitor high-ranking individuals more so than vice-versa.

But don’t take my word for it. Try it out.

Go out and approach ten women today and just ask them for directions. With the first five, approach them straight on as you normally would.

With the second five, face your body away from hers as if you’re standing next to her looking out at other people. Notice the difference in her receptivity to you.

Go out on a date and don’t face the girl directly when you first meet. Face her from the side. Show some more interest as the date progresses and see the effect.

Physical confidence is more important than the words coming out of your mouth. Your body language will be the most important determining factor for whether she’s attracted to you.

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posted in Body Language