The Magic Bullet You're Looking For

Guys waste a lot of time looking for two magic bullets:

1. Something that will consistently make them feel better

2. Something that will consistently make women feel better about them

Searching for these magic bullets will lead to a lot of heartache and pain.

Trying to feel better

Feeling good is huge. It’s one of the most important things in life.

If you’re depressed or unhappy, what’s the point of living?

The thing is, everyone goes through a range of feelings no matter who we are. We all feel happy, sad, fearful, frustrated, joyful, etc.

Anyone who claims they don’t is lying to you.

The same is true around women.

No matter how good you get, sometimes you feel low-confidence.

Maybe at lunchtime I won’t be in the mood to talk with anyone. And then in the evening I”ll start to feel amazing.

Or maybe I’ll feel low-confidence all day and feel great the next day.

Or maybe I’ll feel low-confidence for a week or two.

I’ve talked before about how confidence works in cycles for guys.

You will, at some time, feel low confidence no matter how good you are with women. I guarantee it.

Chasing after that feeling of confidence will leave you running in circles.

You may read something about meeting women-a line or a strategy. It makes you laugh or makes you feel great. It sounds creative and funny.

But then after it bounces around in your head for a while, it’s not funny to you anymore. It stops ‘working.’

So you spend your time looking for the next great opener or the next banter line that makes you feel good when talking with women.

It’s an endless cycle.

Trying to make women feel better about you

The other magic bullet guys look for is what ‘works’ with women.

What works with women can vary a lot depending on how you feel.

One opener may work with one woman. The same opener may not work with another woman.

When trying to improve with women, it can be tough to tell what kind of progress you’re making.

You try to look at:

• How many phone numbers you’re getting.

• How often you go on dates.

• How many women you hook up with.

Your success can be erratic.

Chasing after that phone number, date, or sexual encounter will put you on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs.

It’s not healthy.

But what if I told you there is a magic bullet?

Well there is.

The magic bullet is this:

Taking physical action with your body.

This is what it comes down to.

Willpower is taking action regardless of how you feel. This is what makes you improve in the long run.

When you feel great or confident, it’s not that hard to go out and take initiative.

Once you have a habit in place, it’s like coasting downhill.

It’s those times when it’s tough that you feel like quiting.

So ultimately, we can say…

It’s those times when you don’t feel like taking action that it is most important to get out and do it.

That’s the magic bullet.

Now, is it possible to feel better about taking action?

Absolutely.

In general, the more you put yourself out there–the more you gradually step out of your comfort zone–the better you feel.

It’s not linear…

There are a lot of ups and downs…

But it is possible to feel better about interacting with women.

Is it possible to take action more effectively?

Absolutely.

You try things out. Some things seem to work for a while, and then they stop working. And you can’t tell why.

And then you try more things out and you get better.

Again, it’s not a straight line. There are many ups and downs. But you can become a lot better at affecting women’s feelings.

So you can feel better about yourself and get better at affecting women’s feelings…

…But neither of those is your end goal.

Both of those, if you make those your goal, will lead to frustration.

Your end goal is–and should always be–to take the kind of action you want in order to live your life.

This is no small thing.

This is freedom.

This is the ability to go out and go after what you want.

It makes life worth living. But beyond that…

It is living.

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posted in Initiative and Inhibition