Typically at some point, maybe a second, third or fourth date, I’ll invite her to come over to my place.
She knows what will likely happen there:
And if she’s coming over, that typically means she’s thinking about sleeping with you.
The big question is: what do you do when she comes over?
What is critically important is the first thing you do when she gets there.
The intuitive thing to do might be to offer her a drink, sit down on a couch and talk with her.
Makes sense. She’s made the effort to come over to your place.
But when it comes to romance…
The most intuitive thing to do often isn’t the best thing to do.
Instead of doting on her when she comes over, here’s something better:
Be in the middle of doing something else.
Answer the door. Greet her. Offer her a drink and then say:
“Gimme a few minutes while I finish ____________.”
It can be anything.
Maybe you have to finish composing an email.
Or your curtain rod just happened to come down a minute before she got there.
You can even have her help you do something.
The important thing is that you aren’t focusing on her for the first five or ten minutes.
Why? Focusing on her makes her feel like there’s pressure on her. It makes her feel like you are putting her on a pedestal.
It makes her feel like you’ve been waiting for her to get there.
Instead, if you are doing something else when she arrives, she feels like she has stepped into your life and that you have other things going on.
In fact, if I’m ever wondering what to do when she’s there, the question I ask myself is this:
What would I be doing if she wasn’t here?
The answer to that question doesn’t always dictate what I would do, but it helps me focus on myself. I don’t ignore her or do things without her (unless she’s been there for a long while).
But she needs to feel like I am the center of my world and she is part of it, not the other way around.
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