Me and my wing, Lee, have spent a long time going out together meeting women.
We’ve developed some effective ways of working together that are completely original.
Below I talk about some ways we work together when meeting women during the day and at bars at night.
The Importance of Positioning When Being Indirect
Positioning is critical, particularly when being indirect.
Being indirect means you’re using an excuse to talk with her rather than displaying your interest up front.
Examples of indirect openers include asking for directions or asking for an opinion about something.
You’re in a park. If you get up and walk past ten other people to ask a woman how to get on the internet, it won’t come across as believable.
She will know that you came over to speak with her because you’re interested in her. If not, you would have asked someone right near you.
Instead, if you want to be indirect, you need to position yourself near her first.
Find a reason to put yourself in her vicinity.
If she’s sitting in a coffee shop, you could walk by her as you’re looking for a seat, looking for cell-phone reception, or looking for your friend.
You walk over and stand near her and then… happen to see her and ask a question.
This is much more believable than walking across the room specifically to ask her a question.
The problem is that sometimes it’s difficult to position yourself near her without raising her suspicion.
For example, if she’s sitting on a bench where there’s no one around and plenty of other empty spots further way, it would be awkward to sit right next to her.
The same logic applies if she’s in the corner of a cafe surrounded by people with only one or two empty seats next to her and many other seats available further away.
It would be awkward to take the seat right next to her.
Enter the bunker buster.
The Bunker Buster
Instead of you positioning yourself near her and raising her suspicion, your wing goes in and takes all the heat.
He walks over and sits in her vicinity, with one or two seats between him and the girl. He doesn’t talk with her.
He doesn’t interact with her in any way. He pulls out his phone and starts looking at it.
30 seconds later, you walk up to him and say, “Hey, you ready to go?”
He says, “Give me a minute dude. I wanna send this e-mail.”
He taps the seat between him and the girl and says “Sit down for a minute.”
Then you sit down next to the girl.
Now it will not appear that you are there specifically to talk to the girl.
You’re there waiting for your friend.
So you turn to the girl next to you and open conversation with her with one of your indirect openers.
Suppose your opener is “Hey, do you know if there’s a zoo in central park?”
If your friend is sitting next to you, you can ask him first. He will say he doesn’t know so you turn and ask the girl.
Obviously if there is no one in the entire place, you may have to leave a seat between you and the girl.
But you can still comfortably `happen’ to position yourself closer to her than if you were alone.
This is as indirect as you can get. You have betrayed no interest in her.
If anything, she’s suspicious of your wing. But he never opens her, so it’s moot.
This technique also works in bars.
However, in bars, women are more distracted and may not even see your friend.
In bars, we like to use a variation of this technique called Fake Architect
In a bar, we are looking for women to talk with. However, being seen scanning the bar for women is unattractive.
Ideally, you and your wing are having fun with each other, laughing, talking and drawing attention to yourself.
You somehow `naturally’ end up near the women and then just happen to start a conversation because they are in the vicinity.
But if you leave this up to chance, it may never happen.
To take full control of our positioning, we use a conversation about architecture as an excuse to walk around and point at things.
For example, suppose we are at a rooftop bar in New York City. Let’s say we spot two women on a couch on the other side of the bar.
They are engaged in conversation with each other.
We start walking around the bar, pointing at buildings around the city. We eventually point to buildings above and behind where they are sitting.
We talk nonsense to each other such as, “That building has an amazing dome. You should get a dome like that on your building.”
The actual conversation between me and my wing is not important. What is important is that we seem to be ignoring them and doing our own thing.
But our own thing is bringing us closer and closer to where they are sitting.
The same technique can be used in a place with no view, but there, we’ll talk about the interior design-chandeliers, different spaces, features of an alcove, usually things above the heads of people around us.
The point is that we’re focusing on something outside the social environment of the room. We have bigger things to talk about.
This does something very important:
It draws attention to ourselves without giving our attention to others.
After we are properly positioned and get a bit of eye contact from the people around us, we turn to them and just `happen’ to start a conversation.
For example, “This is a conversation about boys,” my wing will say to them.
This can be done in other venues as well.
In a coffeeshop, you could point to paintings on the wall. In a subway car, you can point to advertisements on the wall.
The point is that you get near these women and get their attention without seeming like you came over to specifically talk with them.
That’s what indirect opening is all about.
posted in Attraction, Body LanguageCOMMENTS