One of the most commonly discussed concepts in dating is not being ‘outcome dependent.’

The idea is that during interactions with women you shouldn’t be too focused on getting a specific result. That result could be:

• getting a good reaction from her
• getting a phone number
• getting a date
• having sex
• getting into a relationship

The idea is that women can sense when you have an agenda. Instead, you should try to enjoy the moment for what it is and not care so much about what she thinks or does.

This mindset allows you to be more spontaneous and more fun around women. You can take more risks, take initiative to be more sexual, and just be “yourself.” In the end, this ends up getting better results with women anyway.

Being less dependent on outcomes is one of the most important principles of getting better with women-if not the most important. It’s good that people are talking about it.

The problem I see is how people recommend you stop being outcome dependent. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a guest post by Chase Amante, founder of dating advice company Girls Chase.

There she is: the most beautiful girl in the club. Or bar. Or in your class, or office, or the corner coffee shop, or the computer lab.

You know… that place you always go to, and keep thinking to yourself that this time, when you see some gorgeous young thing, you’re going to go and say hi.

But you never do. Instead, you just stare… and sigh to yourself.

If only you could just… meet her.

But you can’t. It’s like there’s an invisible wall between you and her… and you just can’t get to the other side of it.

Except, there isn’t an invisible wall between you and her… it’s all in your head.

And I want to talk to you about how to get out of your head… and up into action.

What’s This Chase Amante Guy Know About Approach Anxiety?

Read the rest of this entry »

“Skate to where the puck’s going to be, not to where it has been.”

This is the advice Walter Gretzky gave to his son, hockey great Wayne Gretzky.

When you’re a beginner, it’s an accomplishment to simply have a conversation with an attractive woman.

But once you’ve had a fair amount of conversations, text exchanges, dates, hook-ups and relationships with strangers you’ve met on the street, you start to tweak things in your game.

While it’s nice to simply have friendly conversation with a woman, it isn’t worth that much.

The point, after all, of a conversation, is to lead to text or e-mail exchange.

The point of text and e-mail exchange is to lead to a date.

The point of a date is to lead to intimacy or a relationship.

Obviously, not every conversation leads to sex–you wouldn’t want it to.

Read the rest of this entry »

Pickup Podcast is the premier name in the business when it comes to audio interviews.

In this interview we discuss my new book, “She’s Six Steps Away” and give away excellent tips for guys who have trouble starting conversations with attractive women.

• What is approach anxiety?

• How to get past approach anxiety

• Why you need to learn to approach women instead of just having an interesting life

• Dealing with depression, anxiety and obsession.

• Should you work on yourself before you get better with women?

• How to get motivated

• What kind of fears/anxiety guys deal with once they get past approach anxiety

• How to deal with rejection and embarrassment

• Is it better to go out specifically to meet women or just practice meeting women whenever you see them?

–Get the podcast here!–

A guy I know caught his girlfriend cheating on him.

But instead of leaving her, he stuck around for months playing tug of war over the girl with the other guy.

Who would put up with a girl openly cheating on him?

Who would put up with a girl treating him like shit?

When a guy is in a terrible relationship with a girl, it’s easy to see that the best option for him is to walk away.

No one should stay in a crappy relationship where the woman nags him, bosses him around, or treats him disrespectfully.

The problem is that these things don’t usually happen out of the blue. It’s not like she was treating him amazingly well one day, and the next just started treating him like crap.

These things happen on smaller increments. And they happen… right from the start.

Read the rest of this entry »

In this podcast, Angel Donovan from DatingSkillsReview.com interviews me about how to beat approach anxiety and get good at approaching women.

• Approach Anxiety is the No.1 reason men don’t get success with women (What 7 years of coaching men to meet women showed me)

• Is Approach Anxiety the same for all men? Do all men have it? Do they have it the same way and have to fix it the same way?

• How to build comfort in specific situations and places so that approach anxiety gradually fades away and disappears

• Living in smaller towns where you meet the same people a lot and how it can affect you

• A story from the field: A recent potentially ‘embarrassing’ moment Eric Disco experienced approaching women

• How a case study from neuroscience – the Chinese conversion of U.S. military into communist advocates – shows you the effective approach to beating your fears

• How approach anxiety is a normal challenge that everyone has to deal with and Why you ACTUALLY need it to become successful with women

—Download the podcast here—

Most men walk around insecure about their looks.

They feel bad that they can’t attract certain women because they themselves aren’t physically attractive enough.

They walk around with a feeling that attraction for women works the same way it does for men.

Most men haven’t had enough experience initiating interactions with women they don’t know.

Because of this, they can only mirror their own attraction mechanism–which is highly based on visual input-and project that onto women.

They feel that women are just like men, except that they have different bodies (female bodies) and are attracted to different bodies (male bodies).

Read the rest of this entry »

Where do you draw the line between confident and cocky? Between assertive and aggressive?

How do you walk around like you think highly of yourself, but not like you think you’re better than everyone else?

Guys are always trying to reach that line. But they usually fail.

I’ll illustrate why with an example.

In coaching guys, one of the biggest problems is that they don’t speak loudly enough when talking with women.

About 95% of the guys I coach speak too quietly.

Introspective guys tend to speak quietly with everyone, friends included. And then they speak even lower when they take initiative with a stranger.

Put that guy on a crowded train where other people are within earshot, and he’ll speak even quieter.

It’s barely a whisper. Read the rest of this entry »