She nuzzles my chest as she lies in my arms.
“Alright, I’m kicking your ass out,” I say to her with a smile. I give her a smack on the ass. “I gotta do some work.”
“Look at you, all motivated,” she says, sitting up in bed.
It’s Sunday morning. We woke twice in the middle of the night, once to fuck and then later when a torrential spring downpour sent occasional rain droplets in through the partially open window next to my bed.
“I keep getting splashed by raindrops,” she said before I closed the window.
As she puts her clothes on, we talk a little bit about our plans for the day. When she’s dressed, I walk her to the door.
I pull her into me and kiss her on the lips. I taste her newly-applied lip gloss. I close my eyes and breathe in her kisses before watching her walk out.
I close the door behind her. I’ll miss her later that day.
We’ve been dating for almost a year. Is she the one for me? Am I ready to commit? Who knows. All I know is that I’m enjoying it.
And I’m enjoying her.
I’ve had many relationships. I’ve met many women. I’ve gone from a guy who can’t for anything open his mouth and talk to a woman he doesn’t know, unhappy in all his relationships, to a guy who can talk to almost any woman anywhere.
When you’re not yet having sex with anyone or dating any women, it is very frustrating.
You can train your body to be outcome independent. I do it all the time with my clients.
But over time, the frustration builds. That’s how us guys are built.
For most women, the longer they go without sex, the less they want it. For guys, it’s the opposite. The longer we go without sex, the more frustrated we get. It’s evolutionarily programmed into us so that we don’t sit on our asses until we get old and die.
Things are better once you start having sex. You’re more relaxed. There’s less frustration.
When you’re already having sex, it’s easier to be successful with women. It’s a cruel trick Nature played on us. When we want it less, it is more likely that it will go somewhere.
So it’s easy to think to yourself, “This sucks. Things will be better once I start having sex.”
But that frustration can motivate you if you know how to tap into it. It’s like riding a wild horse that at first seems unruly.
How do you tame that unruly beast called frustration?
Learn to appreciate everything, even the smallest interactions.
Look at it this way, there’s a good chance that even if you do get all those good things you want, if you can’t appreciate your life now–you never will.
But if you can learn to appreciate even the smallest of interactions with women now, then finally when your life is full of abundance, you will enjoy it even more.
I still have failures–too many to count. It happens on a daily basis for me. Women are unpredictable creatures.
There is no endpoint. Relationships are not what they seem from the outside. Sometimes I wonder whether my current situations are what I want to be in. Am I wasting my time? Is she right for me?
No matter how good you get with women, if you are truly putting yourself into things with women, you still risk heartbreak.
I’ve decided though, whether it’s a brief, warm smile from a woman who’s responded to my request for directions and walked away, or a deep, trusting, sexually fulfilling relationship built up over time, the best thing I can do is appreciate her.
Nothing lasts forever. Even a monogamous, 70-year relationship ends as life ends. But if I can learn to appreciate her now, regardless of what happens, I’ve won half the fight.
posted in Self-Improvement StrategiesCOMMENTS