Make Yourself Vulnerable To Her

One of the most challenging aspects of connecting with a woman is making yourself vulnerable to her. It is one of the things we focus on.

In workshops, we teach guys how to walk up to a woman, how to stand when talking to her and a myriad of other body language skills. This stuff is important.

In Chicago we had a guy who’s game was radically changed just by figuring out that he needed to point his toes in a different direction. Sound unbelievable?

It all comes back to vulnerability. It may seem counterintuitive, but making yourself vulnerable is one of the hallmarks of a high-status male.

Think about it.

Let’s say a guy came up to you standing with his arms braced like he was about to plow you over. His fists are clenched and his shoulders are high. You wouldn’t expect something very good to come out of his mouth.

He’s defensive. He’s not vulnerable. Why is he protecting himself so much, you might wonder. It seems like he’s about to fight.

This position is reflective of an overall attitude called “braced readiness.”

When you have social anxiety, this is exactly how you are acting. You’ve learned to expect your interactions with strangers to go poorly. You feel constantly under threat and are over-analyzing everything you do. You’re nervous and wary, signs of low status.

When you are high status, you don’t worry about threat. You’re the man. You’ve handled it all before. You can make yourself vulnerable because you have strength. When you interact with strangers, you’re not worried about negative reactions.

The highest status guys have comfortable body language. They aren’t nervous and fidgeting, wondering what’s going to happen next. They know what’s going to happen next because they’re the ones making it happen.

And the woman notices this. She will make herself vulnerable to you because she sees how relaxed and comfortable you are. Her mood will reflect yours.

There is no way she will make herself vulnerable to you if you can’t make yourself vulnerable to her. And believe me, women can read your body language better than you can.

Beyond body language, there are other more important ways to make yourself vulnerable to her.

Go up to a woman and give her a genuine compliment.

Tell a woman that you just wanted to come over and say hi, without any pretense.

It’s scary. She could tell you to fuck off. And a girl sometimes will. But it also generates massive attraction because she knows you’ve put yourself out there.

The more you go out and experience making yourself vulnerable, the less it feels foreign and invasive to do so. It takes some time and practice, but it’s well worth the effort to learn to connect with people in an open and sincere way.

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posted in Body Language, Rapport Skills