I was recently inspired by Scott Adam’s book where he talks about how having a System is better than having goals.
I’ve always heard that the key to success is having clearly defined goals. You should write it down on paper, think about it every day, etc. and that will make it come true. Supposedly Jim Carrey had a note in his pocket he wrote that said, ‘Make a million dollars.’ He looked it every day and it came true.
While there is some benefit to having goals, I agree with Adams that it is better to have a system. Here’s why.
Goals offer a reward in the future. Let’s say your goal is to get a girlfriend. You go out every day and work toward that goal getting better at meeting women.
The problem with this is that it is less likely you will learn to enjoy the process in the present moment. You’ll be looking forward to some point in time when you have a girlfriend instead of trying to integrate the process into your life.
Conversely, if you focus on having a system, you are more likely to try to tweak that system to make it part of your life, to make it something sustainable. Even if you do get into a great relationship with a woman, you’ll still want the ability to meet women, if you don’t date anyone else. By having options, you become more attractive to your partner.
You’re also less likely to quit when you do reach your goal. You view the activity—practicing meeting women—as a means to an end rather than an end in itself.
I like to compare it to working out. Maybe your goal is to lose 30 pounds or to get ripped. If you stop when you reach your goal, it won’t last very long. It’s better to figure out how to integrate your workout into your life rather than focusing on the end result.
If you can’t learn to enjoy the process of meeting women, it will be that much harder to meet women. They’ll sense that you aren’t having fun. It will seem like you don’t want to be there.
So how do you learn to enjoy the process? The key is to take small steps and make those steps sustainable. At the beginning it is challenging but the more you do it, the easier it gets to keep going. You build momentum.
If you’re serious about learning to talk with those women you see every day, you need a serious game plan. Pick up my book and put the procrastination behind you.
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