I am the best pickup artist in the world. Or so it feels that way. I’ve got some skills. I haven’t been rejected at least for the past 48 hours. It feels like I’m whole again.
I remember another time when I felt like this. It was before I got into pickup.
I’ve had a number of girlfriends. But I never really had true choice with women. I never really approached women I didn’t know. I had too much approach anxiety.
To me it “wasn’t worth it.” It never turned into anything productive anyway. And most of all, it shattered my image of myself as a guy who was successful with women. I didn’t want to admit that I lacked skills.
I thought I had high self-esteem. And I did in a way. I was very good at some things. Some things I’ve been doing for decades. It was nice to be good at things. I like to feel like I am good at things.
But I wasn’t good with women. I couldn’t walk up to a woman and talk to her. And if by chance I was talking to a woman I was attracted to, it was always a wing and a prayer. I decided I needed to learn. No matter what.
I am the best pickup artist in the world. Or at least it’s easy to feel like it when you haven’t done many approaches in the last 48 hours, when you haven’t challenged yourself or stepped out of your comfort zone.
Today I’m out on the streets to approach and suddenly everything is out of place. I feel awkward and stupid, like I want to go home and practice and learn more before talking to a girl. I’m more comfortable in front of my computer than I am here.
I go to approach a girl on the subway platform. All of a sudden there are too many people around. Or she’s not hot enough. Or the train is about to come. Or I didn’t dress right today. Or I’m tired. There are always excuses. They are numerous and attack my motivation like vultures.
The best pickup artist in the world.
“Kill yourself a little every day.” Now I understand why they say that.
I approach a girl and the words stumble from my lips. I am humbled once again by the streets of New York City.
For whatever reason, it feels like I’m back in kindergarten today. And it’s okay, I accept that that’s my fate for today. I will feel a bit awkward today. Even though I won’t feel like the best pickup artist in the world anymore, I will approach a girl.
And if I fail, that’s the way it goes. It is my only option. Because by taking action, I swear to you, it is the only way I will feel differently tomorrow.
posted in Initiative and InhibitionCOMMENTS