I want it all. And I want it now.
It can be tiring sometimes improving socially. After a certain point, the more you know about what you should be doing, the harder it becomes to implement it.
You know it logically, but your body fights you.
When we coach students in the Art of Attraction workshop, we give them the foundation for attraction, the most important things they need to skyrocket their game.
And they do skyrocket their game.
On Saturday night we had one excellent student come over to us with group after group of hot girls and introduce them.
“This is Susan. She’s my new exgirlfriend,” he would tease.
When newbie coaches give students feedback on an approach, they tell the guy four or five different things to change next time around. In actuality, focusing on ONE SINGLE ASPECT would actually help the most.
And in my own personal improvement, I fall into the trap as well.
I want to be good at twenty different things, and when I stumble on one, perhaps something even basic, it becomes frustrating.
There’s a tendency toward perfectionism that accompanies social anxiety, a voice that tells you if you can’t do it perfectly, then don’t do it at all.
And so I don’t do it at all.
And of course, that’s the worst thing of all.
So what do you do when it seems like there’s a mountain of improvement in front of you?
How do you eat an elephant?
When you walk away from an interaction, instead of beating yourself up from twenty different angles, focus on ONE THING to improve next time.
In fact, this is the perfect model for how to stay in this for the long haul.
Pick one aspect of your game and spend an entire month working on that.
Instead of thinking, I have to change my body orientation, I have to change my voice tone, I have to improve my sexual escalation, pick one thing, say voice tone, and spend and entire month working on that.
It helps if you have a coach that can look at you and give you an outside view of what would most improve your game, what is most holding you back.
But oftentimes you can figure it out on your own.
Or you already logically know what’s holding you back–you are just focused on too many things at once.
Some of the most dramatic changes I have seen in guys were when they worked on one small aspect and got it right.
I know you’re hungry. And there’s a lot of elephant in front of you. But don’t try to put it all into your mouth at once.
One piece at a time, my friend, one piece at a time.
posted in Self-Improvement StrategiesCOMMENTS