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The number doesn’t really matter. What matters is your commitment to this great program.
Standing next to 4-5 women per day may not sound like a huge accomplishment to most people, but it really is. You should be proud of yourself for going out. You have surpassed a huge percentage of men in this world who can not get passed this simple step. So do yourself a favor, reward yourself, smile and be content with your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem; stick with this program and it will not disappoint, trust me.
Wow, that was medicine. Honestly, thank you.
I was on the phone with her yesterday and the conversation went silent for literally 3 mins straight. I had to end the call. My body’s fully rejecting her now.
I have a couple of questions, about physical separation and timing.
1) I can’t physically separate from her, we will be seeing each other every day, and I can’t help that. I’m gonna follow your advice and tell her we can try to work on a friendship but only after some time have passed; and after our feelings simmer down a bit. In terms of daily interaction, I was thinking a basic “hi, how are you?” and small talk for the sake of our history together (I just don’t want her to really tell me how she is.. yikes). I think ignoring her fully isn’t very humane, no?
2) In your article you mentioned timing is key. I wanna try to minimize damage to her life and especially her school (It’s amazing how right you are when you say I still care for this girl.. it’s so true). This is our final year and we both have to be focused. Knowing this girl, it will take her many weeks to get over me (sorry for sounding cocky, it’s not my intention, but i’m sure you’ve experienced these types of relationships).
School starts this Tuesday, and time is running out. She already wants to group up for many class projects, including a capstone project that will last both semesters. I know I can’t be in a group with her, our feelings will make these projects impossible to navigate.
Eric, Thank you so much for taking the time, man. I am eternally grateful.
Thanks guys, great insight from you both. A couple of comments though.
I don’t believe in the “how do I make a girl do things she doesn’t want to do” aspect of gaming. That’s not what I’m after, plus I’m with you MA it’s not possible to have a positive outcome. But the whole idea behind my understanding of pickup is to get her to realize that we both want the same thing.
This is what i mean by the concept of limits. When you first meet a girl, kissing her in the first 10 seconds is probably way beyond her limits, and I guess it’s “something that she doesn’t want to do”. But if you were able to kiss her, later on, that meant that you’ve passed these limits – mainly by creating some comfort between the two of you. And kissing you, though once undesirable, now becomes highly desirable for her ;).
These limits can be pushed all the way up to sex. You can’t make me believe that girls don’t want to have sex, we both know it’s not true because they are human,and humans are sexual beings. I’m very intrigued by what you two are saying about “not being in that position in the first place”. I have never been in a situation where I had absolute compliance. There’s always resistance and it’s what makes game.. well fun! It’s how you’re able to overcome this resistance in a very sexy manner.
I mentioned a very specific scenario though, I am really interested in how you guys would respond if you found yourself in that position. Like, specific things you would say. I mean you’ve just realized that you’ve gone too far.. how do you escape that, in a way that doesn’t show that you’re needy, but asserts your dominance/sexiness over the situation.
Thanks Lee, great advice as always. I was afraid you’d say that but it needs to be done. I’ll tell her the truth.
Lee, you are absolutely brilliant.
You’re right. It is easier to have someone with you while you pick up. They can help you get talking/motivate you, and there is an upside to having someone there after each approach because they act as a ‘harbor’ to go to after the approach. They can watch your body language and they can assist you in tweaking and adjusting your overall game. Also, if you were able to get companions who are girls, they will boost up your social value (fancy way of saying you’ll just be more attractive to women, ‘pre-selection’)
Sadly, there are downsides too. A lot of the times, if you go out with someone, you just end up talking about pick up all night rather than approach. It’s very counter-productive. You will notice that you will get very comfortable which is kind of the opposite of what you’re trying to do, which I hope is to get out of your comfort zone. Also, at some point your mind will start to tell you that you’re having fun with your friend and you don’t need to approach. All bad things.
Going out alone helps your pick up tremendously because, ultimately, the approach is done alone. The way people react to you is the most surefire way of knowing what things you need to adjust about your game. Going out alone has absolutely no negative effects on you. At the very least, you’ve gone out and didn’t stay at home, which should give you some satisfaction while starting out because you’ll know that you are trying. But after a while you’ll know that just going out isn’t good enough and that you will have to start talking to people. So you start raising your objectives at an escalating pace.
The trouble you will run into while going out alone is you might go for a long period of time where you don’t speak to anyone. You’ll start feeling crappy and you’ll start thinking that you’re just wasting your time. Good. Because that’s a great motivator to change something about your plan. And that’s how you’ll improve.
I’ll throw in my 2 cents
I was at a street event and I met one of my old high school friends. We were talking and he pointed at a smoking hot blond across the street. She was giving him dirty looks and he said
“Notice that girl? She’s giving me those looks because I used to date her.. Yeah, I ended it”
I couldn’t believe him because, well, I knew him. He said I am taking online dating classes. That’s when he mentioned pu101 and that’s also where I saw Eric present one of his lectures.
I couldn’t even sit beside a girl in high school because I was so shy. With a lot of help from people like Eric, I put myself in situations where I have no other choice but to speak to girls and be around them. So I took a job doing door to door and that changed me. Now I get girls asking ME for MY phone number. But It was a struggle man. It’s always a struggle.
You see, you have to make mistakes, there’s no other way around it. No amount of videos/books can prepare you for that. I personally think this pick up community is nothing more than just a support group. They are here at the end of the night to help you go over your mistakes and hopefully correct them.
My advice is to have a plan, and go at a pace that is slightly uncomfortable, but not overwhelmingly so. The reason for that is once you DO get comfortable you’ll know you need to push yourself harder to improve further.
Wow Eric, that was absolutely incredible. That makes so much sense and it actually helps me with what I’m going through at the moment.
Also, I don’t know how much appreciation you’ve been getting from the pick-up community because of the work you’ve done but, honestly man, you deserve so much more. So thank you for everything you’ve done and for all your help. I hope this next year brings you more joy and excitement. Happy new year to you and to all the posters here. It’s been fun reading your stories.
Special mention to Lee. You sir, are a BAWS!
In my opinion it is all related. She will look at your last interaction and she will decide accordingly.
You know the answer to your question because it’s common sense. You sent her a message and she didn’t respond. That’s a bad sign. I know Eric would just tell you ‘it’s a lost cause, go meet other girls’ and that is the best thing to do. As to what you can do from here.. you can ping her again in a week or so. I would go for a second meet, you got nothing to lose.
I just answered your question so you can stop reading here. But I’m gonna give you something more. If you want to read on, be my guest. If not, hopefully someone else in this forum can benefit from it.
This is not me trying to change the way to think, I don’t think that’s productive and it doesn’t benefit me in any way. I want to, however, present you with a whole different outlook on LIFE, not only dating. I don’t believe in this “I personally don’t approach dates with those tactics, I have in past and find I have better success rate just being myself”
We spend most of our lives trying to ‘find ourselves’. I can not count how many times I’ve surprised myself with things I never imagined I could do. It doesn’t mean I wasn’t ‘myself’ in THAT moment, all that means is I haven’t DISCOVERED that part of myself yet. In the pick-up community there is something called ‘your best self’. And that’s what we STRIVE to achieve.
Before you throw those ‘tactics’ out in the trash, I wish you would understand the purpose behind them. They are not meant to be this scheme that you plan before a date, rather they are behavioral characteristics that you should convey to her to tell her she would be NUTS not to want to be with you. That you deserve the absolute best and at some point have the courage to question her if SHE deserves to be with YOU. That you align yourself with fun-loving people, only, and that you have no room for negativity in your life, and so on..
At its core, you have to believe these things yourself. And if you can’t.. Pretend for a while, until it sinks in. Because one day you’ll wake up and truly understand why you deserve the best and most beautiful girls in this world.
There’s little to go out on here. There is a big part of the picture missing. The only thing that will get a girl, any girl, to contact you back is how much she’s invested in you.
From there, you have to look at the date. Did you kino escalate? Did you challenge her or did you agree with all her opinions? Did you create tension or were you afraid to do it? Did you let the conversation get inappropriate or was it a conversation you can have with your mom/sister? Did she tell you about her childhood, life, deep secrets, hopes, dreams.. etc? Did she laugh at some of your jokes when you knew they were not funny? In other words, how many IOI’s can you count. Did you kiss her?
I’ll give you more insight once you’ve answered the questions above.