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Lee……Congratulations !!! that was an unexpected surprize…..!!

So she’s going to grow up with solid expectations of how men should really be….!!

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@ ZHel – I would strongly recommend coaching…..by someone who’s style / ideas you are in general agreement with….

Keep working it….we are all there with you , experiencing frustration on a daily basis , mostly at ourselves…..:) but every day there is some teenie weenie improvement and it adds up over the weeks and months….

The thing is , we can do our part, and thats all we have control over….the other half, the girl’s response , well we can influence that by our approach and how we present ourselves…thats what these discussions are all about…. but there’s always a strong element of chance there….

all we can do is keep working on ourselves and keep approaching….and then one day a routine pickup will turn into a great experience for you….

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Agree, supermarkets are a good place to do warm ups and practice approaching…
Slightly upscale supermarkets , with a sushi bar and a salad section , tend to attract a lot of prospects at lunch time….

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Yes, I have actually seen Lee get asked out by a hot Blonde….!

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My personal experience – just going direct and telling girls they are ‘cute’ is a good second stage exercise for overcoming AA…without something to continue to conversation, all I used to get was a “ Thank you “ and away they would go…..many of the direct coaches, will also advise to attempt to “ reverse the dynamic and present yourself as skeptical” as soon as possible….

Challenging girls , calling them out on their BS, and mostly maintaining my frame – this works much better….here’s an example …
I picked up a cute Blond at a salad bar ( using an indirect opener) and we sat to eat together. She had grown up on a farm in Virginia, and now she’d chosen an apartment in the city center. Tiny & overpriced. I just said, “yea, that’s what it is , you’re a farm girl, of course you want to live in the center of the city now ! “. I wasn’t even teasing anymore, just being blunt. She loved it…”that’s what I like about people from NYC, they tell it straight up like it is “ , and she asked for my number there and then.

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found this article on Glenn P ‘s blog ….its from Elite daily by Laura martin….obviously its not scientific, but just her opinion, still it seems somewhat relevant to our discussion here…..

http://elitedaily.com/dating/date-a-guy-who-bores-me-to-tears/918320/

Essentially she would prefer an asshole because he offers a challenge to her, as compared to a bore or a “nice guy” anyday….and she goes into detail why…..

enjoy guys !

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@ Ryanno – good point up there….Polarizing is essentially a facet of being more assertive and doing whats in your interest, regardless of the opinions of the mass of people around us. Though I would choose Steve Jobs rather than Barack Obama….Just saying….:)

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@ ryanno – I would say the opposite, that not working on yourself, not working on removing all those social blocks and fear based actions from a lifetime of bad social conformity training , not working to bring out the best you can be , is a cop out….anyone doing that is short changing themselves in life. Look at all the work you’ve done yourself to successfully overcome your AA.

Yes , there’s a chick for everyone , just as there’s a guy for everyone….but sorry, that’s mostly all mediocrity …..we, and I mean almost all of us on this forum, are in the outlier category or at least actively working to be more than just mediocre….

@ Lee – perfect summary there !

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some cities don’t have much street game…
In addition to the recommendations from the guys above, work the supermarkets….any single women you find there on weekday nights after 8 pm and weekends are almost always unattached.

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Seems kinda late but I’ll add my 2 cents in…There’s a lot of good advice up there already, especially Lee’s point that you want to focus on people that are adding something to your life and dropping the rest. However from reading your initial description in your opening post, there is one thing that sticks out.
On a first date, I would escalate a bit, actually a lot if possible, mostly to establish the dynamic from the start that this is about sex and a possible relationship.
From my experience, when I don’t escalate and establish some sort of sexual/ romantic dynamic on the first date, the second date either doesn’t materialize or ends up with me in the friend zone.

Find something that suits your personality …Me, I tell them their outfits makes them look really nice and sexy, and sometimes I ask them to spin around so I can check their butts out….I get a lot of “hey” and “ hahaha” but it does establish the flirty dynamic from the start of the date….after which escalating seems more natural.
Have some stories and topics ready..
This past Monday night, with the girl that I’ve mentioned in my post “Text response ideas “ , within 20 minutes of sitting down, we were talking about vibrators and she was telling me stories about them from her past….despite the fact that she said “ hmm, strange topic to start the evening with “ . As Ryano says up there , its our job to lead…

Eric and almost all other coaches focused on pickup and attraction strongly recommend escalating quickly on your first dates…

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i was ready about Bond Creator Ian Fleming…apparently he was a ladies man and Bond’s character and attitude towards women are actually pretty much how Ian Fleming played it…He modeled Bonds relationships with women after himself…
and he was pretty successful with women even before he had any novels written…

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I like the clip from Die another day, when Halle Berry first steps out of the Ocean and Pierce Brosnan is checking her out…

Pierce Brosnan’s expressions, and leadership of the conversation, are just superb, he does not react much to her, rarely has more than a slight smile, and keeps upping the tension thru sexual innuendo regardless of how awkward it may feel ; also there is Zero approval seeking/apology in his approaching, on the contrary he maintains the slightly skeptical unreactive persona the whole time)

eg :when she says “if I had the time to enjoy it” ,
He : how much time do you have ? – almost deadpan expression
She: till dawn….what about you
He : ( instantly changing topics on the conversation – the push ) – oh, I’m just here for the birds, – ornithologist

& the initial opener, with a dead pan face

He; Magnificent view
She: sizes him up , then internally approves, and says “ yes, too bad its lost on the others “
He : ( does not react to her comment -which actually agrees with his situational? opener- & changes tack, maintaining leadership ) , instead offers : Mojito ?

The comment about predators feasting was awesome…..

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Hey ryano…

I do like your point #5 up there….

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Remember this one guys…?

Thought I’d update everyone, I ended up going out on a date with her last night ( Monday night ) …and had some fun too….

Somehow earlier this month ( 15 Jan ) she had run into me at the morning yoga class ( which is for long time students like me ) and came over to say hello…Even more strangely, she texted later that morning to say how nice it was to meet again etc etc…

This time I just bantered , sometimes real rubbish ( “ aim for the bleachers “ ) and it got to the point where to shut her up, I asked her out…thinking she would refuse, stop this text nonsense and go away ….

Instead , she agreed to a date, and
Although she flaked again, this time the text response was very different , so I thought I’d put it up for you guys :

Her ( Sunday 18 Jan 1 pm ) – ok, here’s my plan : we skip today and go for breakfast/brunch something next Sunday after yoga? How does that sound ? to me great ( smiley face) cause I will be ok, fit and energized ready to take a conversation with you ( what I think I need to make sure you are entertained ) …and not in pain & half exhausted like today…..( it continues on blah blah blah another few sentences in the same vein – very long text….)

Me ( 1.25 pm ) – M , I am truly flattered that you wish to be so perfectly fit and ready just to meet me….. ( Thanks to SomeGuyUk and Lee from the social dynamics challenge #1 for this response )

Her – haha I think I need that to cope with you ….:)

Me : Well, plans tend to come unstuck at the last minute so lets just stay in touch , Sunday brunch is a bad idea for me for reasons I’ll explain when I see you…

Her : Ok, we stay in touch….I would be free on Thursday evening, as well as Saturday evening or actually the whole of Sunday….

We finally went out last night because of schedule issues for both of us….but there was a huge barrage of texting that I frankly wish I had not gotten so engaged in…..some lessons there…..but the real lesson learned was to keep my frame the way Lee had suggested it ……eventually she admitted that she found my attitude very attractive to the point where she felt intimidated to actually go on a date.

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Hi Lee

Somehow the video doesn’t seem to open, could you post the link please ?

Thanks !

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