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This is pretty cool. I dont know what type of project it is, but a story about you following a passion of yours and moving to an entirely new country has potential to be great.
Hey man, i agree with the point of trying to speak the local language. I was in Madrid two years ago, and when i spoke my butchered Spanish i felt people respected me more for the effort than when i spoke English. Also, from my experience, going direct on Spanish women worked far better than indirect. I think they appreciate it more when you notice their beauty from the start and tell them about it. At least that’s how it was in Madrid. Have fun!
hm. After some interaction at a big outdoor street party here in Barcelona, I’ve answered at least one of my own questions.
Work in the local language, if I can. It impresses people, and you can always ask if they speak enough English to switch back to if you get stumped.August 19, 2013 at 11:19 am in reply to: Tips for getting physical and escalating on a date #70009
The Questions Game is always money for me.
EricAugust 18, 2013 at 7:47 am in reply to: Tips for getting physical and escalating on a date #69985
Wow thanks Lee (and Eric for posting)
This stuff is golden! Shall try it tonight.
Was just wondering if you have any tips for what to talk about to stir her towards sexual thinking?
FrancisAugust 18, 2013 at 7:22 am in reply to: Tips for getting physical and escalating on a date #69984
The most important thing about physical escalation is this: do it gradually. Get her used to your touch.
The lowest form of touch is the high five or the fist bump. Every time she says something you agree with, go for a high five or give her a fist bump.
The next level of touch is using touch as punctuation when you’re talking to her. For example, touch her forearm with the back of your hand when you say something like “You know what I mean?” The actual mechanics are a little hard to explain. In workshops, we bring in girls so guys can practice positioning and body language. Everything you might want to do is easier when you are sitting or standing next to her facing in the same direction.
The next level of touch is constant body contact such as leaning on her or putting your arm around her. Sit next to her and close. Let her feel your body weight. Hugging is also a way to get full body contact. When she says something you agree with say “You agree?!” then put out your hands wide and say “Give it to me!” That’s how you get a hug.
Assuming you’re on a date, somewhere between a half hour and an hour of this type of escalation gets you to the kiss. If you are very close to her and already have body contact – if you’re inches from her face – you can just go for the kiss. If she’s been going along with all of the above, it is likely that she will let you do it. However, in the rare case that this doesn’t work, it can be a little awkward.
Here’s a game I like that makes the first kiss more playful and less awkward. Tell her to look at a point on the wall to your left or right. If she asks why, you can say “I want to look at your profile” When she turns her head, say “Very nice…” then while her head is turned sideways, just lean in and give her a kiss on the cheek. Expect some laughter.
Now say, “Ok, it’s your turn to make up an excuse to kiss me on the cheek” If she can’t come up with an excuse, prompt her. Say “Oh, come on, I just showed you how to do this. Tell me you want to check out my profile.” Turn your head and let her lean in for the kiss, but at the last moment turn back towards her and get a peck on the lips. She will laugh. You will laugh. But this game totally breaks down the awkwardness of the first kiss.
When the laughter dies down, motion for her to do it again (without turning away) and say “One more time. This time, slowly.”
What if she says no – either after the peck on the cheek or at the end, when you ask for a real kiss? Tease her. “Oh man, you don’t know how to flirt, do you? You didn’t tell me that when I first met you. You don’t expect me to teach you all of this, do you? I usually meet girls who are a little less shy.” Pull away a little bit. Make her want to prove you wrong.
–LeeAugust 17, 2013 at 11:42 pm in reply to: Tips for getting physical and escalating on a date #69983
I want to respond to this but am having trouble posting. Eric is about to switch over to a new system. Hopefully, these posting problems will finally go away.
Good info, word, thanks guys.
@lee Thanks man, your responses to threads on the forum are awesome. I appreciate it. -s
I prefer to wait a little longer, to create a sense of a little uncertainty, but your way is fine. You have the right idea about keeping it light and flirty. It’s important that your text shouldn’t come across as needy, as you asking for more confirmation that she’s into you.
I send a text as I’m walking from the girl after getting a number. Something short and flirty, usually an inside joke from the conversation. I hate having to say “hey its me, the guy you talked to on the street yesterday” and texting right away makes it obvious who it is. @lee do you think thats too soon or..?
Thanks for responding Lee!
I was referring more to how Eric was talking about texting at the end of the post (if she responds to every other text or even every third text, then you’re golden). But I hear what you’re saying. I was asking cuz I thought things were well but then she didn’t respond to a text I sent (happened to two girls, the timing might be off like Eric talks about), so I was just seeing when to call it quits.
You can text her the same day or the day after you met her. (After the first date, you should wait for her to text you.) After you meet her, the best way to text her is to send something light and flirty. Don’t ask her out right away. Let her show some interest in you – let her ask questions about your life or what you’re doing – then ask her out. Except don’t ask, tell. Tell her exactly where and at what time she should meet you.
Persistence in real life shows that you’re fearless. That’s what it takes to keep going while someone is saying no right to your face. Persistence in texting does nothing for you. It just makes you seem more desperate. The way to handle a no or a lack of response to a text message is to wait a few weeks and send a ping. A ping is a light, flirty text message apropos of nothing. Wait for her to respond with some interest, then ask her out. Will it work? If she’s already said no or ignored you once, unlikely. But that’s your best bet with texting. Continuing to text after she ignores you or says no just lowers your value.
She’s not sure you’re into her, so she’s trying to get you to invest time before giving you what you want. It’s a good strategy. If you’re not into her, you will eventually give up. If you’re into her, you will eventually get what you want. Do you really want to convince this girl to have a meaningless encounter with you? I would let it go. Spend your effort on girls whose attraction to you is stronger than their caution. On the other hand, suppose you do want to give a potential relationship with this girl a real shot. How should you do it? You have to get her to invest a bit more as well. Take her on a proper date. When things are going well, start pushing for what you want. Let her plainly and forcefully say no. When she does, look at your watch and calmly say “I’ve had enough struggle for one night. I’m going to go meet up with a few friends. Call me when you figure out that you’re really attracted to me and maybe we can try again.” Kiss her on the cheek and go. No plans. No explanations. Just walk out. Let her feel the loss.