What to say after they contact you?

[SomeguyUK]

Ok so I had another strong reaction from a girl I met in a shop. Added her on Facebook, she initiated contact with ‘it was so cool meeting you today SomeguyUK’.

I think I messed it up though; two messages later she stopped replying.

So, what do you say when the girl initiates contact?

[MrAntiquity]

She contacted you on FB–with an actual message–that’s pretty good. I’d be surprised if you actually messed it up with just a couple of FB exchanges. how’d you meet her, and what did you say to her on FB?

[SomeguyUK]

Met her in a clothes shop.We had a pretty long chat and swapped some stories, she seemed super happy to meet me, lots of IOI’s, and gave me a big hug at the end. Here’s the conversation:

Her: It was so cool to meet you today SomeguyUK 🙂 x

Me (1 day later): Hey, it was cool meeting you too. How’s your weekend been?

Her: Yeah it’s not too bad, enjoying the weather. What about you, how have you been?

Me: Same here, have been visiting a friend up in Nottingham. Weather is great here too, just finished taking my friend’s crazy dogs out. Are you an animal person?

(2 days later she has read the message but no reply)

In retrospect maybe that was an overly long answer, and maybe it was a strange question to ask. I was going to tell her a funny story about the dogs though, and I just figured she liked me a lot so I could talk to her like a friend.

I guess the lesson here is don’t let it go into boring conversation, but I’m still confused as to how I lost her so quickly!

[The_Hurricane]

The whole thing has a dickless orbiter feel to me. You are not in charge and she is not excited. As always, text is not the deciding factor, but if she’s already a little bit on the fence, it may be enough to kill the vibe.

It depends on how much leverage you have with her and where you left it when you last saw her. If you have a lot of leverage, I like to respond with “:-) what took you so long?” I walk away from my sets with a lot of leverage, and this message works very well when the leverage is in your favor. You can also try something more playful: “you! i thought i blocked you! 🙂 just kidding. so good to hear from you” Note the lowercase texts. What does it say? I’m not putting in much effort.

Don’t banter back and forth too much. It feels like you’re building a connection but all you’re really doing is showing her that you have a lot of time on your hands and probably don’t have many other prospects. One or two texts, then tell her where to meet you: “this wednesday. 9pm. pegu club. yummy cocktails. i will be bringing a hurricane of charm. will your levees hold up?” Make it fun. Make it flirty. Challenge her. Don’t let her snooze out. (BTW, if she answers, “My levees are plenty strong”, I say “bzzzzzt. wrong answer. what man wants a woman with impenetrable levees?”)

–Lee

[SomeguyUK]

Can’t argue with that diagnosis…interestingly, even though she was very cute, I actually didn’t care that much about this girl. I think she sensed it, and maybe that’s why she initiated contact. I should have tried harder to maintain the frame.

Will try those messages next time. Many thanks for the advice Lee.

[Author]

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