What do you do when you start getting bitch face immediately?
November 15, 2014 at 9:51 pm #72312
So I was out in the bars in Spain last week and I didn’t do very well with the ladies! Not sure what happened; I was there in April and did great.
I wanted to ask what you guys do when you are immediately (or very quickly) getting an ‘I dont like this guy’ face from one or both of the girls?
A couple of times I was talking to a duo of girls and one of them was into me but the other one started looking really coldly at me. It put me off so much that I ended up bailing soon after. I am reasonably confident in bars but as soon as that thought pops into my head of ‘fuck, this girl thinks I’m a douchebag’ I just want to bail.
Is it worth trying to turn it around in these situations?
Maybe this is partly an ‘inner game’ question as sometimes you find yourself projecting your own insecurities on people. But sometimes it’s pretty clear when someone doesn’t like you.November 15, 2014 at 10:03 pm #72313ryanoParticipant
I just walk away immediately. It’s a waste of time to do anything else. Sometimes I’ll open a girl with just a “hi” to see how she responds. If she’s anything but nice I walk away, not politely either. I just walk away and if I can, I’ll hit on a girl right next to her for the added effect. I get a kick when a girl who’s an ass to me overhears me having a great time with a different girl. This is true for anywhere, even a supermarket.
Note: sometimes a girl will be an asshole but then will change her mind later due to her fluctuating emotions. Also girls are notorious for changing their state on a whim. They can be an asshole and completely cool within a matter of seconds, also it depends on how strong your frame is. In a strong frame you can almost change anyone’s emotions cause people are followers. So if you’re bored you can try and re-approach her later. But if a girl gives you “bitch face” from the start it’s almost always a “no go”. I know what you mean, that face of “ugh I don’t want this guy to talk to me”. Versus another where she just seems a bit in a bad mood. The latter you can reapproach later or reframe her if you’re strong enough.November 15, 2014 at 10:22 pm #72316
Yeah I feel like there’s not that much point continuing if that happens – if only because it’s no fun for me.
One night I saw these two girls sat on their own looking bored – they were both looking at their phones, not even talking to each other. I start talking to them, they turned out to be american. About a minute into the conversation, they just both went back to looking at their phones. I literally stopped mid-sentence and walked off.
I get that nobody owes me a conversation, but goddamn that was rude! Some people really are just assholes.November 16, 2014 at 1:32 am #72325ryanoParticipant
Yes, some girls are really just plain rude. When you’re new to approaching you don’t realize that some girls are just evil, you just think that all girls would be flattered by you approaching them. and when you get a bad reaction and you automatically think “wow, did I do something wrong?” where fact of the matter is the girl would’ve been mean to ANYONE that attempted to approach her.
You can’t take things things to heart. I talk about this in my post about “girls are random”. Sometimes a girl could be having a rough night. For example, a guy she liked might’ve blown her off and she just all of a sudden distrusts and hates ALL men. And then you come around with a nice approach and she treats you like you’re harassing her or something, or gives you a mean vibe. so you really don’t know. Just be open to any outcome when you approach someone you don’t know. And if she doesn’t give you a reason to stick around, don’t. doing otherwise just makes you appear needy.November 16, 2014 at 2:06 am #72326MrAntiquityParticipant
Ultimately you don’t know if she’s a bitch or a normally cool person protecting herself/sick of guys hitting on her/in a bad mood. It’s fine to give it a minute to see if she’ll come around (demonstrate that you’re way cooler/more interesting than the vagrants who have been trying to chat her up all night), but then leave. I’ve had people who started out cold warm up to me pretty quickly–but like Ryan’s saying, some girls are just flat-out losers. Weed them out.November 16, 2014 at 3:12 am #72328The_HurricaneKeymaster
There are two reasons you might want to stay in there. 1) As an exercise in dealing with adversity. That can be really useful if you’re a newbie. Toughens you up. 2) You enjoy messing with her. If I’m going to stay in there, I’m going to give her more shit than I’m getting. Most of the time, it doesn’t change the dynamic, but sometimes it does. The good thing is that it doesn’t take long. Whatever she gives me, I give her even more. It usually goes back and forth a few times until the whole thing spirals out of control and I have to leave or she surrenders and I’m back in the saddle.
What I would never do is stay in there and just continue running my regular game. Bleh. Bad power dynamic. Even if you succeed in getting her to stop messing with you, it will take a while to work back to a position of respect. I’d rather spend that time looking for someone else.
–LeeNovember 29, 2014 at 11:04 pm #72359
That’s a good point Lee. I will try and stay in longer next time just for the practice.
How would you mess with a girl who is looking at her phone?
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