The traits of the desirable man
August 18, 2015 at 2:15 pm #73275
I have been up to some reading (back home with parents, few girls to approach) and experimenting with reducing the underlying principles that make for an effective pick up. The bare necessities that an attractive men demonstrates to lay a girl. Please have a read and comment anything you consider constructive. Hope it is useful.
~ Taking action
~ Hooking: Different, interesting, unpredictable/ spontaneous, knowledge (e.g. teaching her about herself), DHV spikes, demonstrating uncertainty in her (you are not sold), (emotional) push (dialogue or body), conflict
~ Masculine, leader, going for what you want, assertive, physically dominant, certain, relaxed,
not the presenter,-salesguy,-entertainer delivery
~ Confident, confident she wants you, a sense of entitlement, you are the prize as much as she is
~ Sexual (escalation)
palpable desire/ intent, Eye contact, Conversation, Touch
unapologetic, natural expression of desire, not looking for approval/permission from her
creating and not diminishing (sexual) pressure and tension
killer instinct… fast, bold, aggressive, a ravisher
~ Self-amusiming, teasing, think J.B., edgy, creating tension, pushing her away, like a little brat, framing
~ Cheerful, Positive, upbeat, optimistic, smiling, etc. etc.
~ Qualifying the girl for real (i.e. on your interests, character, tough questions, screening for what you want, for a date).
~ Unreactive, unaffected by token resistance, not afraid to lose her, not caring what other people think of them
~ Building some comfort and connection. Make her feel special, it’s about her, light conversation
Nowhere is there
putting her on a pedestal, trying to win her over, trying to make her like you, looking for commonality, supplication, listening to what she says she wants, letting her make choices, bantering to entertain her, caring about her opinion or reaction, no philosophical discussions, super interesting or deep conversation, being smooth, trying to be funny and having a comfortable, safe conversation, trying to give her a good time or make hel laugh, qualifying yourselfAugust 18, 2015 at 4:24 pm #73277MrAntiquityParticipant
Honestly you know what I think the key is? Which kind of reduces all of this?
“Don’t be scared of her”
That’s really it.
Obviously you can’t TELL someone this (if I practiced what I preach I’d be talking to/dating girls, instead of not talking to/dating girls).
I mean there’s some tactics that can be helpful, but ultimately it’s a matter of you making yourself less scared.August 18, 2015 at 5:27 pm #73278
I think this is the case.
Personally, I find an action to replicate is sometimes easier, another time it is easier to integrate a mindset. Very personal, I think.August 18, 2015 at 10:10 pm #73279MrAntiquityParticipant
but when there’s so many tactical things and behavior emulations to think about, it can drive you crazy. Ultimately, you’re a guy. You were born a guy. YOu have a guy’s instinct. So the things that get in your way (as with most of us) probably have something to do with you saying “naaah, I better not do that” or “naaah, I’m not ready for that yet”.
From other posts, it sounded like you’ve managed to approach quite a bit. Have you pushed the envelope? Gotten–or at least asked for, a phone number? Proposed a date? Or at least a coffee? If so, touched her a bit more than you would have? All of those things are breaking through fear, without going through a whole matrix of how to act/how not to act.
Ultimately you want the girl to go for YOU….not some contrived “desirable man”. And the way to allow her to access that YOU is by simply moving things forward, continuously.
Where are you in the “six steps” guide? What step can you consistently get to?August 19, 2015 at 8:04 am #73280
If I can warm up (i.e. when in London) I can ask for numbers, insta-dates etc. I do kino and sexual talk. I tease and am sometimes confident. I have gone on a few dates and had a few make outs, but I still get stuck at going for the make out a lot of times. And obviously anything that follows 😀
But I think it is getting easier. I just have very few dates and very few chances to practice going for a make out and escalating from there.August 22, 2015 at 11:00 am #73281BoticelliParticipantAugust 26, 2015 at 12:54 pm #73286
Yes, as well as being Brad Pit and all of that. But we play with what we get.September 5, 2015 at 1:50 pm #73302elliotreyParticipant
It is useful – thanks for that awesome list, your opens to elevate PLUS your opens to share. Many are going to be like: “EPIC YAY!” for finding this post.
I have something to add tho – Emotional Honesty
Yep this is a BIG TRAIT.
Honesty about who you are, how you want to live, your vision for life, what you find acceptable and what you don’t. It’s big – particularly for women; to take it to a deeper level emotional honest is MASSIVE. I’m not saying get all emotional on her now – hell NO! I’m saying you share about your life, like if something crazy happens you share about it – get descriptive about how it feel’s and feel it when you share.
If someone in the group does something that you don’t accept then you don’t stand for it. Like if someone pours their drink over me I do not stand for being treated like that.
Speak about your vision (use that word to)…
Be honest if you don’t like something then you don’t do it!
Honesty and Emotional Honesty is delicious to women – WHY? It gives them the open permission field to do the same with you, demonstrates that you have a high capacity to feel – there for love and makes it easy for them to connect with you. Boom!
Get this and elevate your game: http://alphamastery.net
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