The Age Question
December 17, 2014 at 8:14 pm #72402The_HurricaneKeymaster
For most guys my age who approach women in public, the age question sometimes comes up. When I am single, I hope and pray for a woman who is within range of my age but is still fit and attractive. The sad fact is that there aren’t many. I wind up approaching attractive women who are significantly younger. If I give them my card and they write to me, the age question sometimes comes up.
Most older men handle the age question by trying to convince a younger woman that they – the men – are just as good as younger men. Ew. So creepy and weak. Instead, they should be explaining why most young women are not ready for older men. Here is the explanation I use:
“are you asking me about the stereotype that older men seek youth, beauty, and a lust for life, and younger women seek wisdom, confidence, experience, and success? the truth is that being with a younger woman makes me feel awkward, too. i feel it in the stares I get when I’m out in public. but more importantly, I feel it in private, in the number of books read, the number of films watched, the number of museums visited, the number of relationships understood… so, what can we do? we can give in to caution and say goodbye right here, probably the wise choice. you can wait for a younger man to notice you on the subway. or we can meet for a good coffee and probably come to the same conclusion later… or, improbably, a different conclusion… :-)”
Note that I give as good as I get. I honestly admit that things are unlikely to work out. I also suggest that ending contact right now is probably the right thing to do. On the other hand… 🙂
–LeeDecember 18, 2014 at 11:59 pm #72404MrAntiquityParticipant
I found that a couple of times when I was hanging out with girls much younger than me (one of whom said that she was interested–although I didn’t take it anywhere–stupidly) I said something simply to the effect of “you’re pretty young” or “this couldn’t possibly work–there’s too much of an age difference here”. And both of them responded “I’m not THAT young–you can be 20 (something) and date older guys!”
Not those exact words, but I’ve experience the kind of thing you’re talking about in the past. It seems to be a pretty powerful way of disqualifying.December 21, 2014 at 5:26 pm #72408dyonisosParticipant
so, what can we do? we can give in to caution and say goodbye right here, probably the wise choice. you can wait for a younger man to notice you on the subway. or we can meet for a good coffee and probably come to the same conclusion later…
this sounds like incongruence. you approached her and initiated conversation with and gave her a card to write you. reason you approached her was that she was young and hot, and young means that she is not experienced like you which is – as you say- what make you feel awkward.
now, you all of sudden start to do all that disqualifying becasue of age gap. its come accross as incongruent and week.
if presence of young women make you feel awkward why did you approach her in the first place?December 22, 2014 at 3:35 pm #72413The_HurricaneKeymaster
I’m always qualifying women, even at the very beginning. “How old are you, like 27? When I was 27, the only novels I read were the ones assigned to me in school. Is that you?” That’s something I often say at the very beginning.
Why did I approach her? Because I had an extra five minutes and she is hot. That’s enough to get me to approach, but that doesn’t mean she gets a free pass on all of the things that are important to me.
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