How can i get back my confidence with women
April 12, 2013 at 7:36 pm #66649
something happened a year ago at this party where i met a girl and i was basically hitting on all night. it was snowing outside and she was going to walk home by her self so i offered her a ride. out of no where she asked if i was going to rape her. i was like wtf. i didnt expect that at all. i didnt think i did anything to make her think that. i dropped her off and went home but since then ive been scared to try anything with anyone else. it genuinely fked with my head.ive never hit on another girl since. what can i do to get past this. ive tried but i dont even know what this the first step is. i basicallyat the lowest point now but i wasnt like that before. i dont know if thats the only reason but now i dont even try with a hot girl anymore and i wuss out. what can i do or read.April 25, 2013 at 4:11 pm #66784
Hello Ippp2h :), love the name.
It’s funny with girls, especially once they get a little comfortable with you. They start to “shit” test you.
Before I get to the “do you want to rape me?”, which is a shit test. Let me explain why she shit tests you to begin with.
All these terms: A challenge, badboy, standing your ground (taking a stand on a matter), confident, cocky, DOMINANT, LEADER, emotionally stable, highly social, teacher, experienced (with girls, or anything really).. etc. They define what women are attracted to in men. It’s so much the ‘attitude’ that sparks attraction than what you say. It was hard for me to grasp this concept at first, but you really can say ANYTHING, just refine your attitude.
Women test you for all of these. If you come out guns blazing cocky/arrogant, you better not fail the cocky/arrogant test. It is such a turn off, cause to her, you will come out as fake. So through questions, and believe me sometimes they are very provocative, they test you just to see what your reaction would be.
“Emasculating” shit test: She asks you to hold her hand bag in a mall, to put her jacket on. When she can easily put the bag on the floor or on the bench 1 ft away. Or she asks you to hold her drink in a bar, when she can put it on the table beside her.
you fail if you hold it. You’re her bitch. She won’t have sex with you if you’re her bitch. Simple as that.
You pass if you refuse. She will call you an “asshole” and mean it. But she will respect you and she will be more attracted to you.
Now to your shit test. “Are you going to rape me?”.
First of all, she let you drop her off. If she was really scared you were gonna rape her all she would’ve said was “no thank you” for the ride.
This is not as simple as the first example that I gave, it’s not a ‘you either do it or you dont’.. You fail if you let what she said physically affect you. Or throw you off your game, you drop your laugh and your emotional/physical state changes.
You pass by letting it roll off your shoulder, you’re unaffected by negative comments (credit to Mystery’s ‘the ghost’). So your response can be this.
“hahah, rape you? That’s funny coming from a girl who’s been looking at me like a fat kid looking at a cheeseburger all night (credit to pickup101 for the banter line). I’ve never felt so violated in my life ”
You switch it up on her. Like she’s the one who can rape you at any time.
Some tests are harder to pass than others. But the more you talk to women the more tests they throw at you. And the more you learn.
HumzApril 25, 2013 at 4:20 pm #66785
Oh to answer your main question, how can you get back your confidence with women?
Understand that it was nothing you did wrong to get her to ask that specific question, and it was her shit test that got you. It happens, we fail shit tests. So what?
If a girl says something that affects your state of being, it’s a shit test. Keep that in mind.
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