Successful Insta-date

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    I haven’t posted here in a long time, but lately I have decided to make a strong push at approaching while the weather is still nice and I have some free time this August. Basically, my dating life has been mostly non-existent over the past couple years. So I’m really out of practice when it comes to setting up dates and texting (not that I was ever very good at it) so I’m just looking for some advice on how to handle this girl I met yesterday.

    Yesterday, I went to the beach and saw this cute, tan, skinny girl laying on the beach by herself. I went up to her and sat next to her and started talking to her. I was doing OK, but I wasn’t sure where I was with her and I was beginning to sputter out. But then she started asking me a bunch of questions and she saved the approach. I talked with her for maybe 10 minutes when I decided to go for the insta-date. I have been wanting to try for insta-dates because I hate setting up first dates, I get so much nervous energy built up between meeting and first dates, and I feel like the momentum is lost before the date.

    She agreed to grab a drink and we went to a nearby bar. At this point it was about 5pm. Once we got to the bar it kicked into a new gear. We had 4 drinks each and talked almost non-stop for 3 hours. She was laughing at stupid things I was saying. There was a good amount of touching and hand holding. I really felt like this was one of my best first dates. I gave her an excuse to come over to my place but she didn’t take it and I didn’t push very hard for it. After the drinks we walked together for a few blocks and then when we had to go our separate ways I hugged and kissed her and she said something about how she was the type of girl that has to get to know someone.

    Anyway, I’m looking for advice on the best way to proceed with this girl. When should I text her and what should I text? She said her friends from another city were coming down this weekend to party with her, so should I just wait to set up a date with her after the weekend and text her something to bridge the time? And I assume I should basically treat our next date as a 2nd date, which would be different than just going for drinks. Maybe I could take her to a concert or something. What are some good 2nd date ideas?


    Eric Disco

    Hi Tay,

    Sounds like you had a great first interaction.

    If I’m into the girl, I usually like to do something other than just go for drinks on the second date. You could try:

    Playing pool
    Walking tour
    Day trip
    Photography trip
    Mini Golf

    You get the idea. Something fun where the focus isn’t just on conversation and trying to get to know each other. It takes some of the pressure off.

    After an instant date, I will typically wait a day or two to text her. It’s not like she will forget about you.



    Thanks for the help Eric.


    The 2nd date was OK. I took her to the horse races and she was really excited to go. I got really nervous for this date so I didn’t feel like I was my normal self. It seemed like she had fun and was enjoying herself. We were doing pretty well on betting on the horses and so it gave me a chance to hug her a few times and call her my good luck charm.

    At the end of the date she was not being very receptive to my touch any more and so I was beginning to feel like I was losing her. I put my arm around her and she didn’t come in closer to me or loosen up. But we still kissed at the end of the night. We didn’t make out or anything so maybe she was just being nice to me for taking her out. I’m not sure. I could be overreacting.

    I think I’m just going to ping her after 4 days and see how she reacts. I’ll only ask her out if she really seems like she wants to go out again.

    As for a 3rd date, what should I be going for here? I think I have not escalated enough to invite her over from the start of the 3rd date. Any suggestions?


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