Slow momentum with girl
September 1, 2013 at 11:30 pm #70968loves2smileParticipant
Went on two dates with this girl. No kiss close. She goes out of town for a month. She returns and we’ve barely spoken, both in person and on the phone. Last week, I texted her this:
Me(10pm): Up for a yummy smoothie tomorrow? I know a little place at XYZ and if you play your cards right, I just might take you there. 🙂
Her(5:30pm the next day): I might have to take a raincheck. I just got home and I have some student reports that I have to finish for tomorrow, which takes a while. Maybe another time?
She teaches special ed and I texted her pretty late, as she gets up around 5am to teach school. I talked to my buddies and they all say that the “maybe another time” really means ask her again at a later time. However, since she didn’t counter offer, was she politely saying NO? It’s been over a week since that text, but I don’t want her to think I lost interest.
Should I wait until we meet in person to talk about going out again, should I call, or should I text?September 2, 2013 at 2:40 pm #70969CartooxParticipant
seems she did counter …..”maybe another time ?” ….I had a similar situation recently, so after a few days I simply texted her with “……..( her name) , hi, hope you are not still stuck doing translations….lets meet for drinks tonight at 7 pm…..
she came out and we had a great date….( in my case this was the 2nd date, the first one was 3 months prior, mostly due to my strange travel schedule )
you might just want to change the date day to something other than tonight though, depends on your schedule and what you know of hers
if no response, just chill and put it on the back burner for a while;
hope my story helps
good luckSeptember 2, 2013 at 8:45 pm #70970Eric DiscoKeymaster
I would probably not have texted her if we hadn’t hooked up on the second date. Bare minimum, there should be SOME kissing. If you went for it and she said no, I would have waited for her to text.
Now she’s responded to your text with no commitment or excitement. If you really liked a girl and she asked you out but you were busy, would you say what she said? Of course not. You would have suggested another time. She didn’t. That’s a serious lack of interest.
In this case, I would have responded with something like, “Well say Hi when you’re less busy.” Or even better, I would not have responded at all to her text. Give her some anxiety and make her wonder whether she has you. That’s the only way to pull her in at this point.
EricSeptember 3, 2013 at 4:35 am #70971loves2smileParticipant
I didn’t respond to her last text since it was sent last Wednesday.
We won’t run into each other again until Sunday/Monday. How should I proceed when that happens? We have mutual acquaintances that we hang out with, so it’s inevitable we run into each other by intention or by accident at least once a week.
Thanks for any insight.September 3, 2013 at 11:16 am #70972Eric DiscoKeymaster
Just act like nothing ever happened when you see her. Let her initiate conversation with you if possible. When you do see each other, be friendly. Give her a hug and say, “How are you?” Then after a minute or two, leave the interaction and go do something else. Preferably, you should talk with other women nearby. Regardless, you should be upbeat and charismatic with everyone there EXCEPT her. Don’t exclude her. Be friendly with her momentarily when she takes initiative. But don’t make any effort with her. Focus your attention on everyone else but her.
What she gave you was a definite No. Now it’s her turn to take initiative if she wants to hang out with you in a sexual manner. To be all over her when you see her would be a huge sign of weakness on your part.
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