Six Steps of Online Dating

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Eric Disco 6 years ago.

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  • #66929

    TayBurnz50
    Participant

    Hey guys, I haven’t posted at this forum in forever but I had a question about online dating.

    A couple weeks ago, for the first time, I made a profile on an online dating site. Let me just say that I hate online dating and I’d much rather spend my time approaching in the real world.

    But right when I was thinking about deleting my profile this gorgeous girl has been giving me interest. Now, like I said I’m new to online dating, so I’m clueless as to what the steps in the process are.

    Here is what has happened so far with this girl. I don’t know how other online dating sites work but on this one they have this secret admirer thing. Basically the site lets you know who your secret admirers are if you also are a secret admirer of them. So she was my “secret admirer.”

    Before she even had a photo up she sent me a ‘smile’ and I sent her one back.

    Then when she put her pictures up and I saw how gorgeous she was, I messaged her something short and she messaged me something brief an hour later. I was put off at first at how brief it was but I thought that she wouldn’t have messaged me if she didn’t have interest.

    On Thursday afternoon I sent her a message and on Saturday morning she sent me a longer message where she actually talked about herself. She didn’t ask me any questions though.

    I realize that a girl you meet online is likely a longshot at best but I just want to know if there is a standard procedure that works online. Here are some questions I have:

    1. How long do you wait between messages? Especially if she doesn’t ask you a question.
    2. How many times should you e-mail back and forth before meeting?
    3. Should you talk on the phone or talk on instant messenger before meeting?
    4. What bases should you cover before meeting?

    Thanks,
    Tay

    #66931

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    1. How long do you wait between messages? Especially if she doesn’t ask you a question.

    The safe bet is this: however long she took to respond to your message, wait that long to respond to her. So if you wrote her and it took her three hours to get back to you, wait three hours to get back to her.

    When I do online dating, I like to only write them once a day and that seems to work pretty well for me. I usually do it in the morning.

    2. How many times should you e-mail back and forth before meeting?

    3-5 messages. Definitely no longer. You don’t want to wait too long because then there are too many expectations built up.

    3. Should you talk on the phone or talk on instant messenger before meeting?

    I have a friend who’s great with women who really likes to do this. But from my experience, I prefer to just meet up with them. I’ve never had success with the pre-date phonecalls and frankly, I just don’t have time for it.

    I do usually exchange phone numbers before we meet up, just in case you need to text about the meetup. Also if you like her and want to text her after the date, it’s awkward to ask for her number on the date if you don’t already have it.

    4. What bases should you cover before meeting?

    There’s an entire world to online dating that’s different than meeting women in person, although most of the principles are the same. It takes a while to fine-tune things and get good at it. Luckily it’s fairly easy to test out what works for you by sending out a lot of messages and seeing what women respond to. Don’t get discouraged if you get a low rate of return at first, keep experimenting and trying different things out because it can be difficult to tell how you’re coming across online.

    Don’t be afraid to try out being bold, cocky, sexual, and even a bit of an asshole. Keep doing what works and stop doing what doesn’t work, even if you don’t totally understand why it’s working. Just like in real life, this is a numbers game. Nothing you do will get you batting a thousand. Just figure out what gets you a higher return rate on messages, dates, etc. After a while, things get a lot easier, even to the point of it being boringly easy to get dates.

    Eric

    #66933

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    Thanks Eric

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