Should I feel bad?
February 17, 2015 at 10:37 am #72847-Humz-Participant
I always find myself coming back to this website, and you have no idea how eternally grateful I am for all the advice I’ve gotten through the years.
To make this short; I was on vacation to meet a distant family and my cousin introduced me to her best-friend. We only hung out for about 4 days/nights and we had fun (flirting, creating moments and so on).
The second night, she texted me – and I am not exaggerating- for hours as she recited EVERY moment we spent together and what she liked about me and “how great a person I am”. She went into micro details; so much detail that two questions popped into my mind:
1) I don’t know if I can ever measure up to this person she’s describing. I knew I was awesome (arrogant but needed), but I am not a super human being. What will happen when she wakes up and realizes I’m not perfect?
2) This girl has only known me for about two days. What are her TRUE motives?
After those two questions, I was completely turned OFF. But the reason why the title said “should I feel bad?” is because I loved the attention. How very fucking human of me.
Knowing game a little too much, I knew I had to adjust the power dynamics a little. I had complete power so I just needed to lift her position up a little – up to a certain point where she would have a chance. So I said:
“Okay, I’m gonna be honest. So far, the time we spent together was a lot of fun and I like the vibe between us. I do like a few things about you but I think we should just move a little slower”
Again, I just felt so validated. I’m not necessarily into this girl but the idea that there’s a girl that’s trying so hard to be with me is just so.. new.. I guess.
I know I’m leading this girl on. And I wouldn’t wish that on myself, but girls do it ALL the time! it’s nice to put on the high heels for once (LOL).
Part of me doesn’t want to hurt her, another part feels worse that I’m knowingly leading her on. What would you do in my position? Is it okay to lead a girl on just because you want to feel a little validated?
By the way, I now know exactly what it feels like to be in a girl’s position when a guy unloads all his emotions on her, early on. NOT GOOD!
-Humz-February 17, 2015 at 2:27 pm #72849The_HurricaneKeymaster
There’s no need to lie. If there is no chance that she’ll ever win you over, I’d quickly tell her the truth. You’ll feel more like the man for having done the right thing than you will for getting a whole bunch of praise from a woman you’re not really into. On the other hand, if there is some chance, you’re allowed to tell her that you had a good time hanging out and you’d like to do it again. Just don’t exaggerate or make promises about the future. They’re not necessary to get you what you want.
–LeeFebruary 17, 2015 at 6:46 pm #72850-Humz-Participant
Thanks Lee, great advice as always. I was afraid you’d say that but it needs to be done. I’ll tell her the truth.
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