Should I continue?

[The_Hurricane]

@SomeGuyUK,

Think about what you did. You were willing to walk away when she was on the phone. Bravo to you! That’s when you suddenly got interest. She asked you to stay. She hung up. She contacted you on Facebook. What’s the lesson? The lesson is valuable men don’t put up with this shit, and it’s very attractive to women when they don’t.

She contacts you on Facebook. You start out very strong telling her she was late because she spent too much time hitting on guys (you, of course). Bravo again. But then you proceed to have a lame conversation with her and asked her out. She says no but doesn’t offer an alternative. You ask again.

If I were in your shoes and she says yes, I still wouldn’t go on that date. That chick is not really trying hard enough, and I hate shitty dates.

Is it possible that I would be able to turn it around on a date? Sometimes, yes. But I have enough beautiful women in my life. I don’t need this one. The fact that I’m willing to walk away is written all over my face. It oozes from every pore. They know it. You should understand this attitude because it’s exactly the attitude you took when she got on that phone! It’s probably what got her to contact you.

So, you can train yourself to beg for morsels and take whatever they give you, or you can train yourself to be an attractive man. That’s the choice. You already saw one example of what to do! You did it! That girl did what ryano insisted girls never do: she initiated contact with you!

–Lee

[MrAntiquity]

I think the Hurricane Lee/RyanO podcast debate is in order…

[SomeguyUK]

@Lee

If I were in your shoes and she says yes, I still wouldn’t go on that date. That chick is not really trying hard enough, and I hate shitty dates.

You know what, you’re absolutely right, and I was thinking about that myself. I do actually believe I’m worth more than that, and I know that every girl I do go out with has an awesome time. I guess I just gotta learn how to really own that value.

I am totally convinced by the ‘power dynamic’ side of this stuff, and it’s certainly something I want to learn as much as possible about.

[The_Hurricane]

@SomeGuyUK,

You don’t even know how well you played some parts of this interaction. The phone thing and the response to her initial text were perfect! Seriously.

–Lee

[ryano]

“What I mean is, sometimes you feel like you’ve done everything right, and you still get nowhere.”

^^^^^ THIS.

And trust me SomeGuyUK, you’ll see this again and again. I can assure you of that. And you know what else is weird. Sometimes you’ll do everything WRONG and you’ll get the girl. Like you’ll do the neediest stupidest texts ever and you’ll get her. Things that counter all “pua” stuff. Read my post “Girls are Random”. It’s exactly this stuff. You don’t know what this girl is going through. Like you said, she could like you one day and then have a one night stand the next day, forget about you- and then all of a sudden she wants you again. They change. And they change frequently.

But I think you all are making a big stink out of nothing. She simply said she can’t Thursday. That’s it. I’d probably just ask her if she has an alternative, and that’s that.

But I sure wouldn’t CHASE her as hurricane said, besides I’d be pursuing other girls because I *NEVER* trust a single girl because I know how random they are. What you posted SomeGuyUK I’ve lived thru it HUNDREDS of times.

But the difference between me and you, I usually msg 5 at a time. 1 or 2 of those 5 goes on a date with me at a given time. But I don’t start questioning “what I did wrong” when the other ones don’t respond or tell me that they can’t, etc. It’s the nature of life. I don’t even think twice about it.

As men we are blessed that we can just go outside and add another one to the pipeline. What’s stopping you right now from going to oxford st and getting another one? was it that hard? hell.. just takes a couple minutes to get another phone.

And I sure as hell don’t act like I’m better than them. If someone ever asked me to “tag alone” with them to go somewhere I’d take great offense to that. It’s supposed to be a date where you both have fun together.

Now forget about women for a second…

Right at this moment you can ask a few of your buddies who’s down to go out for beer one night. Some won’t respond. Some will tell you they’re working that night, etc. Does that mean that *YOU* did something wrong? Of’course not! People are unpredictable and they put their own interests ahead of yours.

But SomeGuyUK, I read everything you wrote that girl as you posted. And to me, it seems normal as hell what you did. You didn’t chase her. You didn’t make a big deal out of. And besides, girls like it when guys show a little bit of persistence. Not neediness mind you. But persistence.

You can’t get a temper tantrum every time a girl doesn’t do something your way. Or give her the “silent treatment”. Don’t be reactive AT ALL. I don’t even notice when they don’t respond half the time cause I’m busy with other girls. I’ve conditioned myself not to care about a singular request.

And you know what, you don’t know what’s going thru her mind. For all we know within 2 minutes she’ll send you a “yeah does sat work?!” who knows. The point is, you do what you can do, to the best of your ability and you don’t worry about their behavior. Just remain true to yourself.

[SomeguyUK]

Just remain true to yourself.

Amen to that man. I really appreciate the help from both you guys.

I have a somewhat amusing update for you guys.

– – –

Me: Ok. Another day?

Her: Sure, why not 🙂

(at this point I was starting to wonder if she is actually just an idiot)

Her: I can tell you’re new to picking up guys, so I’ll give you a hand 😉 You suggest another day.

Her: I’m not picking up anyone 🙂

Me: Lol. Not like this, I agree 😉

Her: No, why would I like to pick up anyone 🙂 I’m the one who should be picked up d:

– – –

That says a lot, I think!

[The_Hurricane]

Awesome example of game on your part! You played a weak hand like a pro. Still wouldn’t go on this date, but kudos to you for keeping your mojo. Whatever you lost by asking twice, you got back by playing it so well. I would respond: “your wish is my command. sunday night for a drink”

–Lee

[ryano]

That says alot about you, not her. That you don’t know what the hell you’re doing yet.

1. I told you to keep it up to 10 messages max (including logistics) that you send. Women are very judgemental esp before the first date. And the will not want to see you if you make it too weird for them up front.

NEVER CHALLENGE A GIRL BEFORE THE DATE (unless you are advanced). If you want to get MANY MANY dates. Just do what I told you as far as keeping it short and sweet.

Focus on LOGISTICS primarily. At this point we’re just worried about getting her on the date. Once we have her on the date. She’s OURS. trust me on this 😉

And don’t allude to the fact that she’s “picking up men”:
a. you made that joke before
b. it’s none of your business
and c. women don’t like to feel like sluts or like they have anything to do with seduction.

3. And she’s right. She is the one that gets picked up. Like it or not. Regardless of what Hurricane says, that’s how male/female dynamics works. Women are passive creatures and men do the work. And we’re happy with our roles thank you very much. I can get hundreds of numbers in my phone if I want to. I can fuck as many chicks as I want as it’s solely up to me. That’s the joy of being a man.

BUT—
you’ll notice that women hardly ever will just “text” you out of the blue. Like “hey how’s it going?!”. (esp before you had sex with men). I mean, once in a blue moon it happens. But they, by and large, DO NOT DO ANY WORK. The fact that she added you on facebook is a rarity. Don’t get that twisted. Women generally don’t lift a finger when it comes to seduction.

And don’t do anything stupid like “gee, I’ll just ignore her and see what she does”. I can tell you right now: SHE WON’T DO ANYTHING. Women are passive and they do not do ANYTHING whatsoever, EVER EVER EVER. I’ll bet you that if you ignore her right now she’ll just ignore you. That’s their nature. Don’t play their game.

This is what you do:

1. You keep it light and playful. And teasing. And sexual. I told you already that all women want is to get fucked. And for some reason out of the blue you started challenging her? Why? I have no idea. DO NOT DO THAT. Esp before the date!!! I cannot stress this enough.

Me: Ok. Another day?
Her: Sure, why not 🙂
Me: Cool. Let’s shoot for Sunday. how does that sound?

One of two things happen:

1.
Her: No I can’t.
Me: no prob. have a great weekend!

2.
Her: Ok
Me: great, meet me at such and such.

If it’s 1. I don’t contact her again this weekend and perhaps even the next. Maybe in 2 weeks, like on a Monday I shoot her like: “thought I’d give it one last shot, does this week work?” and see what she says.

In the meantime I’m busy getting more numbers. I have plenty of girls like her. These are generally girls I keep very low priority.

The girls that will fuck you right away will always make themselves HIGHLY available and will always give you an alternative.

[ryano]

I do like:
“I would respond: “your wish is my command. sunday night for a drink””

That’s good. 🙂

[SomeguyUK]

Ryano, I have this picture of you turning red in the face with steam rising from your head as you write this stuff. The ‘picking up men’ thing was a callback to an earlier joke, that’s all. To be honest I have pretty much given up with this girl and I was just having fun. And that was funny to me.

Have gone with Lee’s suggestion, we’ll see if I hear back from her.

[ryano]

Sorry I was heated up. Of’course you should do whatever you see fit. And Lee also has his ideas too.

I was mainly talking out loud to myself. This thread conjures up alot of memories for me. Lol 🙂

[SomeguyUK]

Haha it’s cool man. This thread has been fun.

And Ryano, although I do think there is value in your 10 messages rule, I don’t think it’s always right. I have chatted up girls I never met, or met very briefly, on facebook and whatsapp before and got dates with them. I met my ex-gf that way, who was a hot nightmare. Can’t be bothered to do it ever again, it’s too much effort, but it is possible.

[The_Hurricane]

@SomeGuyUK,

Whether you intend to go or not, I would play it out. What you achieved – getting her a little worked up at you and taking her right to that edge – is actually something many of us strive for. That’s when giving her a little reward as in the text I suggested can turn the tide. I would play it out just to convince yourself that the points of friction – threatening to walk away when she got on the phone and teasing her for picking up guys – are actually the turning points in the interaction.

–Lee

[SomeguyUK]

It didn’t quite turn her around. Last text from her: “I’ll think about it”.

Tough cookie this one. But I think she quite possibly did me a favour not giving me a date, anyway. On to the next.

[ryano]

Whatever. fuck cares about this broke ass chick anyway. “I’ll think about it”. Who does she think she is? I’d delete her.

For the future:
1. Never put your hopes up on one chick (ie get more than one number and txt more than one number).
2. NEVER NEVER NEVER make a conversation out of txt msging. Just keep it light and simple. Just ask her out basically. Your first few messages were great, but then you dug in a bit too deep.
3. NEVER accept a facebook. A live phone number is always the best.

[Author]

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