Online First meet

[Marshall74]

I know that most of us want to learn cold approach.
I personally do both online and offline.
What about the first meet after interacting online?
Lets say a week.
Can we have some imput on the first meet?
The situation is exchanged plenty of pics and some reasonable flirting mixed in.

[SomeguyUK]

When I was doing online dating, the dates didn’t really feel any different to ‘normal’ dates. The only difference is that it’s more awkward in the first few minutes.

The way to get through this is to start talking about yourself initially, just like you would with a friend you know well. “You’ll never guess what happened to me today…”. This takes the pressure of her as you are doing most of the talking in the initial stages, which helps her relax.

[Eric Disco]

An online first date is pretty much the same as an offline first date. Start off with a little bit of flirting. Then, as SomeguyUK says, tell a story or talk about yourself. I like to avoid asking her any personal questions for as long as possible. Let her do it first.

Eric

[SomeguyUK]

Hey Eric. Why do you leave it to her to start personal talk on a date?

[Marshall74]

Thats a great question Someguy.

I had been talking to this girl for 1 Week exchanged some emails.
Met yesterday at a local pennisula that alot of people visit. Like you stated the first 2mins were a little akward but it quickly relaxed with her busting a joke.
We walked and connected quickly. She talked pretty deeply on the walk.
Afterward she offered to get ice cream. She fed me some icecream and opened the door for some touching. Hand holding.
And a long kissing session in the parking lot after the ice cream. So i guess it went really well.
Im always keeping lessons learned close by but at same time being there and not over thinking.
She is 37 and quite the attractive girl and seemingly very positive and smart. Def a solid 8-9 to me. One of those dental girls with the gorgeous lips and beautiful teeth. And i was ok with not trying to sleep with her right away. I wanted to see what she was like.
Some girls are so much better in person then pics.
And thats a welcome suprise.

Im curious to hear erics answer to that question.

[Eric Disco]

> Why do you leave it to her to start personal talk on a date?

When you don’t seek rapport with her, it’s a huge sign of high value. Let me give you an example.

You walk in and see your online date sitting at the bar.

Scenario #1:

You: Wow, it looks like you’ve already started without me! You’re not drunk already, are you?

Her: Nope. Just started. But the drinks here are pretty good.

You: Well it looks like I have some catching up to do. If I get drunk, you won’t take advantage of me, will you?

Her: Can’t make any promises.

You: Alright. But I’m watching you. I see that look in your eye.

Her: So where do you work? <--- She is seeking rapport with me here. I started off with some banter and kept going with it until SHE asked ME a personal question. If I had asked her a personal question first, it would indicate that I'm trying to get to know her. That's a huge sign of interest from me as a guy. I'm TRYING to build a connection with her. It takes away all of the challenge for her. If it turned out the girl you were meeting was unattractive, how would you act? Would you dive in with all the get-to-know-you questions? Probably not. You just wouldn't give a fuck. You would play around, have fun. And not really try with this girl. Typically, the hotter the girl, the quicker guys dive into get-to-know-you (rapport-seeking) questions. The guy is trying to build a connection with her and she can sense his neediness. Another option besides banter and/or rapport-seeking is to talk about yourself. Have a story prepared. That is less likely to put pressure on her and make her feel like you are trying to build a connection. Avoiding seeking rapport can be really powerful. It's much easier and more necessary to do in night game and on a first date than it is to do during day game. If you do too much banter during day game, she might not take you seriously and she might just walk off. But even during daygame I recommend transitioning into personal conversation with a statement rather than a question, i.e. "You look like you workout." Eric

[SomeguyUK]

Awesome, thanks Eric.

[Marshall74]

Good post.

[Author]

Posts