One night stand Help!

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Eric Disco 3 months ago.

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    nou
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    I met this girl from a dating app and was talking for about a week. She opened up to me through text that she does not feel confident about her body and she’s scared that I might hate it or not get turned on (she’s a big girl). So I reassured her etc and we met and had sex on the first night. She stayed the night and we had sex again in the morning and she stayed at mine till around 11 am. Just before she leaves, we were cuddling and she asked me ‘is it possible to catch feelings just after the first night’. I assumed she was talking about me and I just replied ‘I think it is (possible)’ but thats it. I just didn’t know how to respond because I do like her but I just didn’t want to come off too strongly and wanted to know her better. Anyway she did say that I should come over to her place this week which I accepted. So after she left, after some time, she texted me saying that she had a fun and thanking me. So I replied that I had fun too which she didn’t reply.
    Later that night, I texted her again saying that I couldn’t stop thinking about her and she replied saying that she couldn’t stop thinking about me too but then kinda sounded like she wasn’t into texting me and she just wished me good night after couple of texts. We haven’t talked yet. So I’m a bit confused. I don’t want to come off as clingy or anything but I want to know what should I do after the things she said to me. Should I try to contact her again or maybe let it be.

    I’m confused sorry for the long post!

    #73933

    Eric Disco
    Keymaster

    You want to be careful not to mirror her actions too much. Granted, if she’s telling you she’s into you, it’s a good indicator you don’t need to pour on the asshole game. But at the same time, you don’t want to mirror all her actions too much. If she say, “I really like you.” I would avoid saying, “I really like you” back to her. This applies to every stage of the relationship. There are a few reasons for this:

    1. A girl is more likely to lose attraction for a guy if he says he likes her than vice-versa. No doubt, you may feel crowded, but her saying ‘I really like you,’ at least early on, won’t make you want to not fuck her. For a girl, it is different. She may lose attraction when you say this. In general, if a woman is hot, she can show a lot of interest in a guy without losing much value. The reverse is not true.

    2. If you do what she’s doing, that means she’s leading and you’re following. Even if you don’t mean it when you say it, it means you are giving in to social pressure.

    For these reasons, I almost always avoid reflecting back to her what she says and does to me. I take what she says as an indicator of something, but it’s not a license to swing the doors wide open and stop being mysterious to her.

    In this case, if you had a pulled back a little, you would have saved her from herself. She showed a ton of interest and now maybe she feels crowded or stupid or both. That’s the problem when people spend too much time together too quickly and show too much affection to quickly.

    You put yourself in a huge hole by texting her that you couldn’t stop thinking. I would do everything you could to let her contact you first. If anything, in a week or two, ping her again with something very casual. I suspect the game is not totally lost here because she sounds like she was really into you. It’s possible there’s an guy in the picture so I would just wait it out.

    Eric

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