Need some quick advice
October 15, 2013 at 12:51 am #71032sdlParticipant
Quick back story: I was walking down the street and caught an amazing girl in a clothing shop out the corner of my eye. Stopped and ran in and chatted her up. It was a good interaction, she kept complimenting me and I hugged her a few times. At the end I said “have you been to *xyz place* down the street? Lets meet there on tuesday.” She’s out of town all week so she said how bout next week. Cool. Got her number, sent a quick text with a joke about our conversation (no reply).
Question: I was going to send some light flirty text during the week but I think maybe I should just hold off til she’s back next week? She’s one of the hottest girls I’ve ever gotten a number from so its getting in my head little. The fact that she didn’t respond to the first to the first is making think I should just hang back. Anyway, advice from the approachanxiety.com experts is appreciated. Thanks dudes. -sOctober 15, 2013 at 1:55 pm #71033Eric DiscoKeymaster
Congratulations on a great approach. You did exactly the right thing. You asked her to meet you for a specific time. This gave her a chance to say No. If she had said No, I would not have pushed it further. But she voluntarily said that she would be up for something when she gets back. That’s a good sign of interest.
However, you sent her a text and there was no response. To me, that’s a big sign of disinterest. She has already decided in her mind that you aren’t the guy for her. For whatever reason–she has a boyfriend or she already likes some other guy or you just didn’t cut it in some way–that was a No.
If you were interested in a girl and she sent you a text message, would you respond? Of course you would.
Now, what would happen in the ‘best case’ scenario here in terms of getting a date? Maybe she would respond to another text because she felt bad or she felt pressured. And she goes out on a date with you and gives you even more resistance. Now you’ve wasted time and energy following a lead that was already a No. It’s not worth it. You got your No when she didn’t respond to the text. Put your energy elsewhere.
Cold approach pickup is hard. You get a lot clearer No’s from women than if this was a social circle. But that’s actually a good thing. Now you know and you can go out and talk to another girl.
EricOctober 15, 2013 at 5:40 pm #71034sdlParticipant
Thanks Eric. So do you take a non reply to the first text as a definite no? I can only think of one time where a girl responded to the second text but not the first one a few days earlier, so I think you’re right haha. Out of curiosity, do you text right away? I think I remember from the demo interactions that you call her phone while you’re still talking?
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