Meeting girls around the world
February 22, 2016 at 11:38 pm #73441
The forum’s quiet, so I thought I’d share some of my pickup experiences from travelling in the last few years.
I’ve been out of the game for a bit recently, but I recently went to LA and it was quite an eye-opener. I chatted up a few girls while I was there and it was a very different experience to picking up girls elsewhere.
I found that it’s much easier to talk to girls in the day. They aren’t uncomfortable talking to strangers at all, probably because people in general are very chatty there. Plus everyone is focused on their career and constantly trying to network. So you don’t even have to be clever, you can just say ‘hey how’s it going today?’ I got one really cute actress’s number who I shared an Uber with, and a couple more numbers in coffee shops, including one when I was super hungover! I met up with the actress again, but she was really drunk and it didn’t go well.
On the other hand, I found it really hard to talk to girls in bars over there. Everyone is so obsessed with looking cool and a lot of people are very stuck up and rude. Even when the actress girl introduced me and my buddy to her friends, they basically refused to even acknowledge us. My friend is one of the most fun and socially-skilled guys I know, and he struggled too. However, I did get lucky one night and went home with a gorgeous hollywood bimbo type. I can’t even get near a girl like that where I live.
I had a few experiences with stuck up girls, and it really made me appreciate the origins of pickup as we read in ‘the Game’ all those years ago. When people talk about ‘the neg’ and all those strategies, it seems a bit anti-social. But having been to LA, I can TOTALLY see why you would need to neg.
It got me thinking about my experiences with girls in other places. In New York, I found it pretty easy to talk to girls in bars, but I definitely had to use some opening and flirting skills. I only talked to a handful of girls in the daytime because I wasn’t doing much daygame back then, but they mostly seemed pretty nice.
I got the feeling that the girls in NY want to meet guys, and I got laid both times I went there. I even got approached by women a couple of times, which never happens here in London. I should concede that maybe having an english accent gives me an advantage in the states, but not as much as people think.
I’ve been to Barcelona a few times, and it’s a great place to meet women. Last time I went, I stopped a bunch of women who were walking. I did about 20 approaches and my success rate opening was even better than it is here in London. Of course, some of the Spanish girls don’t speak english well, but it’s such an international city that you meet people from all around the world. As I recall, the only girl that rejected me badly was an english girl! You still have to have some good game though, as the girls can be a bit nervous.
It’s also pretty easy to approach girls at night in Barcelona. I still had a few girls being frosty with me, but a lot of the time they are very receptive. I even had a girl who I met in a bar ask me out, again something that never happens back home. And whereas in England I feel I need to use ‘strategic’ openers, in BCN you can just say hello. In fact, I think saying anything too clever can work against you there. The girl I went out with said her friend was a bit unsure about whether she should go out with me because she didn’t like my opening line.
I also went to Arnheim and Amsterdam in the Netherlands last year. I didn’t go for long enough to make a real assessment, but all the women I spoke to out there were really sweet. I’ve heard that it’s easier to chat up women in Amsterdam, because the red light district means guys don’t work so hard to meet hot girls!
As for my hometown London, in my experience it’s one of the hardest places to meet women. It doesn’t feel like women want to meet guys here. You see hot girls all the time walking around in the city, but it’s so hard to find them at night. I’ve lived here most of my life and I still don’t know any great places to meet girls. Occasionally you’ll stumble across some cute girls in a pub, but they will always be surrounded by drunk dudes. I think all the hot girls just go to dance clubs, which is somewhere I would never go. London’s a far cry from LA or NY, where I saW gorgeous girls even in dive bars, or BCN, where I often found myself in bars with more women than men.
The vibe in English city bars can also be similar to LA bars, in that girls can be pretty snobby. At night, they are often more interested in looking cool than in meeting guys. So day game is the way to go. But girls have their guard up a LOT over here, meaning your game has to be really, really tight. I think this is because there are so many weirdos in London that everyone expects the worst. I am seeing a girl at the moment, and every day she has a story about some bizarre, creepy encounter she has had with a random guy.
The upshot with all this is that women can be different from country to country, and city to city. I realise now that some pickup strategies I’ve heard about just aren’t suited to where I live. So it’s all about experimenting and finding out what’s good for you.
I’ve got a few more stories I could share, but this post is going on forever! I’d love to hear about anyone else’s experiences from travelling and trying to meet girls.March 4, 2016 at 7:40 am #73447
Good to hear from you….yea the forum’s been real quiet…
Thanks for sharing some of those stories….
New York is a great city to meet women….the last time I was there was when I was getting coaching by Lee & Eric….they took me to some very cool places to meet girls…..but the subway system had some nice prospects too….
A great place where I had a really good time a few years back was St. Petersburg, Russia, I went around Mid July so the sun was up practically all day…girls were a lot friendlier than in Moscow, some even came up and approached me & my Russian partner (he’s a natural with women )in the bars…..one anonymous chick freaked my ass in a crowded bar….another one that I opened looked like a duplicate of the movie star Megan Fox ( at least in a dark bar !) …..all in all , most girls were very down to earth and out to have fun…The Moscow girls were more like the LA types you mentioned ….distant, sometimes rude and superficial…..two incidents stand out…one was a mediocre looking slightly overweight guy with a very 1960s Beatles hair cut….This was in one of the bars…..he kept getting rejected by the girls, but he never gave up…he would just move on to the next chick…eventually around 4 am I see him leave with a rather attractive and big busted blonde….persistence I respect…
On the way back to our hotel in bright sunlight at 6 am, we saw a cute girl walking her dog….My partner told the driver of the car taking us back to stop, went over to the girl….spoke to her for maybe 5 minutes, then got her to come along with us in the car back to our hotel for breakfast…..
I recently spent a few years in Shanghai, lots of younger European women there , especially from France, Spain, Italy, Portugal but also many others, attracted by the prospects in China.
The continental European girls tend to be more open minded, relaxed about guys approaching them and in general tend to be more feminine from my experience there….I may or may not use my standard openers, but I do best when I stick to the conversation routines & guidelines that I developed , first with Lee & Eric, and later updated and modified by me….
Occasionally , I get approached by girls ….its not often but it does happen…..which is nice…I notice its easier for them to open us when we have a unique outfit or look on…gives them an excuse…..
The Spanish girls are as you described, they like it if a man is more direct….
French girls seem to be the most open to being approached…& they know when a guy is flirting with them!
You’re right about different environments requiring slightly different approach tactics…
I keep modifying and adding to my stack, but it doesn’t change that much though….
Hey….do you have a good conversation stack for your direct approaches ? what do you continue with after opening with your compliment…?
I ask because I usually still avoid opening girls walking in the opposite direction……March 8, 2016 at 11:23 pm #73450
The general model is to open quickly and hit them with an ‘assumption stack’. So you say something you assume about her, and then justify it with a few little conversational hooks.
“Hey, I saw you walking by and you are so cute I had to say hello. I’m guessing that you’re some kind of artists, because you’re wearing all of these black clothes…I could imagine you playing in a band or painting some kind of oil painting.”
Sometimes you can get a little playful and flirty with the assumptions if she’s responding well. I have a few stock assumptions that I use cos I don’t want to do improv with every girl I approach. But it does help to be genuine too.
A coach taught me that approach and it’s worked more consistently than anything else I’ve tried.
A few tips on the girls walking in the other direction. You can just stop them as you get near, but it often works better to let them see you, walk past, then run up to them.
You want to run up to them leaving about a metre gap – not so close that they feel threatened, but close enough to get in their way for a second. Have your hands up and open in front of your chest. As you’re coming round in front of them and delivering your opener, keep eye contact. This is very important and my coach calls it ‘laser eyes’.
That’s all you have to do. If you look half decent and you can do it with confidence, it will work well some of the time.
I’m curious to know what your stack is Cartoox!March 9, 2016 at 10:57 am #73451
It is sad that this forum is all quiet now, it has been a great resource of very useful insights.
I don’t have much international experience, but the women in London are tougher than say back home in Bulgaria. But then again there are so many of them and from many diverse backgrounds, that it averages out I think – you get rejected more, but there is more opportunity.
I really want to go to the US to try stuff over there, NY seems very promising, London 2.0 almost, hehe 🙂
In Bulgaria (although biased) I think the girls are gorgeous, especially in the summer near the sea is a great place to approach. However, I did not have much success as my game was not as good. I find that most women back home have never been in a direct daygame approach, so are really surprised and react well – my sets hooked much more frequently. Night game tends to be clubs mostly, with loud music and alcohol. That works, but is not for me.
I think the main thing is what you guys said about experimenting and tailoring your approach to your environments.
Also just a mention to TopShop on Oxford Street. As Jonny had previously said it is heaven on earth. However, the bouncers are not too happy with a guy doing a set of 20 approaches in there, so take a bit of care.March 15, 2016 at 4:57 am #73456
hey, Thanks for the breakdown….
My question is, Wouldn’t running up and around a girl just to give her a compliment seem like we are giving her too much validation right up front ?
Usually this comes up when I see a good looking girl on a busy street. They tend to be walking relatively fast, so the approach window is small, and short of direct, I’m not sure what other method of opening would work.
Most walking girls I open tend to be one of 3 situations :
Walking in the same direction
Stopped at a cross walk , but again headed in the same direction
Directly in front or behind me on an escalator ( technically we are stationary I guess )
I’ve still have not gotten around to opening girls at clothing stores like Zara & Topshop on a regular basis, I do remember you advised the best way to open was to go direct, as the indirect openers tend to get lost in the whole shopping mode the girls are in ….I do open a lot at the gourmet supermarkets and the Organic /green food places….
As for my stack….this is a work in progress, and could fill several posts, so I’ll start here but we may go back & forth on this….
One of the more common ones I do is a pair of girls in either a café or bar …
Lets just say an after work bar, so around 7-9 pm…
Me : “This looks like a conversation about guys” ( This one we’ve learned from Lee & Eric ) – I look at both the girls , I usually have a slight smile on my face, but that’s it….no overt friendliness or “please like me “ smiles
The response is interesting …..If the girls are attracted or looking for male companionship, I notice they will usually say “ yes “ even though they may not be talking about guys….
On the other hand, if they are neutral or slightly surprised by a single guy opening a group of them ( mostly I’ve noticed when I open a group of 3,4 or even 5 girls ) – I get a vague response and something like, “no, we’re talking about the food or clothes “ or something to that effect…recently I happened to open a group of five , and two enthusiastically said “Yes ! “ and gave me big smiles, and the others were “No “ ! and gave me a strange look….so again, this is something to play around with….I’m still learning to concentrate on the ones who seem interested vs the ones who are neutral / negative.
At this point, if it still looks positive, the next things I talk about are :
Who’s the unlucky guy that they are talking about ( this works better if its only a pair of girls )
How they know each other
Who’s a better flirt , or who’s the naughty one amongst them
Have they recently been in relationships & who broke it up first, she or the guy
Would they sleep or have they slept with married men
Would they demand fidelity from their boyfriends and why
Christian grey or James Bond ? Grey is a supremely needy control freak who is a committed stalker and makes no apologies for it….
James Bond is a Man’s man , who treats girls like so many paper towels….but he is adventurous, bold, and definitely non needy ….
( this one, Grey vs Bond , gets some great responses that you can play around with – I’ve also used this one on single girls – )
some of the above you can change the order around ….for example , if it’s a bigger group ( 3 or 4 girls ) , better to start with how they know each other, and progress to who’s the better flirt or naughtiest one… Up to this point, which is interactive and will usually last around 5-10 minutes, I deliberately don’t bother to either ask their names, or where they’re from, or what they do
Eventually, they will do that, simply because they want to start creating rapport…..it also is a sign that they are developing some interest
I’ll get questions like where I’m from, what I do , etc…I have prepped scripts for that ( Lee & Eric helped me develop those scripts during the coaching ) which I use sometimes, describing my work as the “2nd oldest profession in the world “ & letting them guess…..back in Shanghai I would often tell girls that “ I’m hiding away from the rest of the world….this city is perfect…its big, anonymous, nobody cares who you are or what you have done’…..
Recently I’ve been working on a comic ( purely as a hobby project ) in which a utopian race practices my personal philosophy towards male female relationships ( eg, marriage is forbidden) , children , gender equality and so on…..so I bring that up in the conversation, and show them the draft sketches that my artist ( a female ) has made….
After that, the best thing to do is to exchange contact details and leave at the high point, or see who is more interested and focus on her….this depends on the dynamics and feel in every set….so there are no hard rules here…March 15, 2016 at 5:00 am #73457
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