Make 50% of the people around you hate you

[ryano]

Ever hear of the saying: Polarize to attract?

You’ll be much more successful if you can make 50% of the people hate you, and 50% of the people love you.

As opposed to making 99.9% of the people around you feel neutral towards you (mainly because they don’t even know you exist).

When you are express yourself and you’re assertive anticipate about 50% to hate you. The most successful people in the world that are well known to others, usually polarize people in this way. (think Barack Obama, or any president for that same matter).

If I approach 10 girls right now off the street, I can guarantee that 5 of them won’t like what I’m doing. They’ll think:
1. he’s a creep
2. what a loser, going up to girls in the street
3. does he does this all the time?
4. bla bla bla

-YET- I can ALSO guarantee that 5 of them will *LOVE* me for it:
1. he’s so bold!
2. I can’t believe he did that, he’s so confident
3. Wow, he must really like me to do that!
3. bla bla bla

I’m so used to these polarized opinions that when a girl freaks out I just think to myself “oh, one of those” and then I just approach a different one and get a completely different response. That’s the great thing about people, everyone has a different opinion (and they all contradict eachother). So just look for the ones that share an opinion that is favorable to your own interest and ignore all the rest.

Same with when I’m on a date with a girl and I want to it to go sexual, 50% won’t go for it, 50% will. But I can only know what their stance is if I atleast present them with the option. For example, on the first date I make a point of asking a girl to “come up to my apartment for a drink.” regardless of how the date went. 50% always do.

I was sitting in the coffeeshop right now, and some douchebag was talking out loud pacing backing and forth talking on his cellphone out loud like he owned the place. I asked him to be quiet because other people are working. He apologized and others looked at me thankfully (they loved me), the man was a bit of a dick back to me (he hated me), although he did stop talking.

When you take a position in this world, you will polarize 50% of them. No matter what your position is. You will always get your “haters”. They come with the territory of success.

If you don’t take a position, if you don’t make yourself known in this world. You will be forgotten, and people won’t have an opinion of you. It’s better that people have an opinion of you than not even know you exist. Even if they have a bad opinion of you, you’ll still feel great knowing that you put your opinion out there.

[MrAntiquity]

there’s a middle ground–I know tons of people who are really well liked and do great with women. Even their ex-girlfriends continue to like them. I don’t think that in order to erase the dreaded pushover nice-guy-ness you have to drive away a bunch of people–you just have to be assertive and have fun being yourself. Aggressive drives people away–assertive draws people in, in my experience. Maybe a few won’t like it, but that’s their problem…

I do get what you mean by “polarizing”. But I think there’s positive and negative ways to polarize.

[The_Hurricane]

I have to agree with a large part of this. You don’t have to be a dick, but it is much better to have some women reject you hard (while others jump all over you) than it is to have most women give you a lukewarm thumbs up. Pleasant wins you nothing. People who are perpetually pleasant fear rejection.

–Lee

[ryano]

it’s not being an asshole or aggressive. you can have genuine intensions yet people will hate you just for having an opinion.

to give you a few examples:
1. let’s say you’re an older guy and you have a girlfriend half your age, people will hate you for it.
2. let’s say you’re in the movie theatre and you calmly tell the kids in front of you to be quiet bc they’re talking loud, they’ll hate you for it (yet the people next to them, will like you for it).
3. let’s say you go to the supermarket and say “hi, how are you?” (in a nice, kind way) to a woman, there’s a good chance she’ll hate you for it.

it comes back to what i said in my recent post about ‘the mindset’ in general how conflicts of interests happen. this is just the reality. interact with enough people and you’ll know what i mean. the only way people don’t hate you is if you lock yourself inside your house and don’t talk to anyone.

and if purposely trying to make everyone like you, then most likely you’re accommodating their interests, not your own.

[Cartoox]

@ Ryanno – good point up there….Polarizing is essentially a facet of being more assertive and doing whats in your interest, regardless of the opinions of the mass of people around us. Though I would choose Steve Jobs rather than Barack Obama….Just saying….:)

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