love triangle forming, opinions?

[ryano]

don’t say anything about your friend.. it won’t make a difference, she’ll go with whoever she likes more regardless. and saying something about it shows that you’re invested which will drive her away even more (she said she didn’t want a relationship right?) besides, you don’t want one either with her. especially if she doesn’t have sex before marriage. only talk about your friend AFTER you’ve had sex with her and it gets more serious. right now it’s just like 5th grade bullshit, have fun with it.

as far as the makeout, try to flirt with her before-hand. like make a bunch of jokes and just build a fun and sexy vibe in the room between her. and when you flirt just try and make her horny. when you go for the makeout it should be out of passion (not out of desperation.)

if she still gives an excuse. act like nothing happened then try again after 10-20 minutes. then repeat until she gives in, which she will- bc she’s kissed you before. besides, if you make her horny enough with good flirting she’ll definitely give in.

i have no sympathy for her or your “friend”. she’s playing the field, and your friend is trying to steal your girl even though he knew you were with her before. so those two can kiss it.

[equilibrium48]

Awesome advice man i like the plan.

Yeah the flirting will definitely be on hard,shes extremely receptive to it and we always flirt like crazy.
The one thing that could be a problem is if she says no to the makeout like i said before and I cant try again after 10-20min because we always do it after work and she’d leave by then and go home.
Ill have to play it out through my shift so ‘no’ is not an option haha.

And i know my friend appears kinda like a dick right now but all is fair in love and war i guess. He also told me that he’ll being trying to get a date with her for vday and if she gives him an excuse or any sign of rejection he’ll stop pursuing her. So theres still potential for me but to be honest i dont think i want a relationship with her after this whole drama thing

[ryano]

sounds good. don’t forget to give her a valentine’s day card tomorrow regardless at the end of the day. just tell her to open it when she gets home. if she says “what is it?” tell her “it’s a secret”. and in the card simply write “will you be my valentine?”

p.s as far as your “friend”, two can play hard ball. remember you’re #1 here.

[MrAntiquity]

all isn’t fair in love and war–your friend IS being a dick and definitely don’t make excuses for him. “If she gives any excuse or sign of rejection” he’ll stop trying to steal her? That doesn’t make sense. He’s saying “I’m going to be a dick until all my options for dickishness are exhausted (i.e. he can’t get her).

I’m with Ryan on this–sorry man but i don’t like these two. Friends of yours or not.

I’m starting to think you should just make out with her for the hell of it–hottest you’ve got in you–hell, try to take it even further–pure animal instincts here–then say to yourself “HA! I win, and now I can get back to work” and never bother with her again. THen even if she ends up with him, no one cares.

[ryano]

and under any circumstances, even if she acts like a jerk tomorrow, don’t say something like “well I was about to give you this.. but i don’t think you deserve it. i heard what you did with my friend blabla”. you will be the biggest wuss in the world if you do that. and/or bring up your friend. don’t bring him up at all!

just have a big smile the whole time tomorrow, flirt with her like a boss. go for the makeout, and even if she doesn’t want to make out you just let go with a grin and say “no worries” and try again after 2 minutes. regardless, just nonchalantly give her the card at the end of the day. (btw, this is more an f-u to your friend than anything bc i hope she tells him about it).

if you’re in a good mood and you give it to her, yet she was a jerk to you that day, atleast it’ll eat at her heart. and you want that. 😉

[ryano]

and by having a valentine’s card, atleast you’ll know her answer (by valentine’s day) if it’s you or your friend she’s choosing without verbally asking her or mentioning your friend.

and when a girl gets a card she immediately goes “awwwwwwwWWwwww”. yer friend probably didn’t even think to do that.

[equilibrium48]

@MrA
that last bit you wrote was exactly what i had in mind where I’d make out with her and see how far i can take it and then not bother with her lol. That would mess with her a lot haha

@ryano
the vday card is an interesting idea. I think that and the above statement with not bothering with her after would be phenomenal

This whole thing bothered me a lot before but i already have some dates lined up with other girls so nbd.
Ill update tomorrow on what goes down for whoever is following this thread!

[SomeguyUK]

Here’s the thing: the friend is not the reason you are losing this girl. It seems like you were already losing her before the friend was in the picture. So is more making out going to solve anything? You already did plenty of that.

She also said to you before that she didn’t want a relationship. While I think you shouldn’t always take it at face value when a girl says that, she doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to fall for some romantic gesture.

But who knows, maybe it will work. Let us know what happens, good luck!

[The_Hurricane]

Agree with SomeguyUK. You’re not losing this girl because of the other guy. You’re losing her because she doesn’t think you’re The Man. No romantic gesture is going to change that. With the other guy out of the picture, you’re still not quite in the picture yourself. You can still win with the worst strategy and still lose with the best strategy, but my advice is always the same: you have only one card to play, giving value or taking away value. Your value is the only thing you have. When she’s not giving you enough, you should start pulling it away. (When she’s giving you too much, you should start giving back. No one writes to this forum when that happens, but having been in those situations myself, I can tell you that it’s just as easy to lose them when they’re giving you too much as when they’re not giving you enough.) That’s the whole game.

–Lee

[equilibrium48]

So things took an interesting turn now.

My buddy called me yesterday before my shift and told me that he had called her to arrange a hang out with her on Vday. They talked and she agreed to hang out. He asked her if she had feelings for me and she said yes. This upset him as he saw that she was playing both of us in a way. He also told her he really liked her (bad move imo). He said that if they hang out together, i might be upset. She said she’d talk to me about it.

Now we both begin our shift, everything seems fine and i was acting very happy but i couldn’t care less about what she was saying. She picked up on it and said i was acting weird. I told her i was fine and made a passing comment that ‘work was very peaceful when she was gone’ lol. She became upset and asked if i was happy not working with her last week. I said i had mixed emotions. We ended up deciding we’d discuss this after work.

After work she gets into my car to talk lol. We basically start making out right there. Eventually we start discussing things. She says she really likes me and i ask her if she has feelings for my friend to gauge if shes playing both of us. She says not at all and that all he is is a platonic friend. She says she has a lot of guy friends and thought that he wanted just to be friends haha.

In a way this is sort of comforting as it seems shes into me and friendzoned him but i still find it a little fishy.

@ryano btw i used your vday card idea. I printed off some stupidly cheesy valentines cards and gave them to her. She loved it. Thanks man

[SomeguyUK]

Hmm, this is a confusing one.

Possible explanations:

1.
The girl kinda liked you but it wasn’t quite there.
She liked your friend for a minute but he came on way too strong.
She used you as a reason to dump his ass, then she thought she was going to lose you so she did a u-turn on your relationship (well played by you).

2.
The girl purposely started getting with your friend to mind-fuck you into doing some crazy shit to show your investment. When you didn’t do anything, she realised she has to work more for you.

Option 2 sounds crazy, but some women really are master manipulators and will do stuff like that.

I think option 1 is more likely. But it means that basically you are her ‘plan B’ until something better comes along. Is that what you want? Dump this indecisive bitch.

(BTW, she is still in danger of coming between you and your friend)

[equilibrium48]

Ill also add this bit of info which was a bit intriguing.
Our conversation was very genuine and i told her that judging by her behavior (rejecting me, making excuses, playing hot and cold, etc) i assumed she wasnt into me. She agreed that she had rejected me a lot and commended my persistence haha.
She then said that she already developed very strong feelings for me but didn’t want to lead me and herself on as she didnt think anything would happen between us (relationship wise). Her reasoning was that shes religious and her belief on no sex before marriage wouldnt be compatible with my view. This thought caused her to purposely distance herself from me and reject me even though she liked me. Kinda interesting huh.

To be honest sex is quite important for me on solidifying a connection in any relationship. I told her that if she never gave our relationship a chance then she cant go assuming it wouldn’t work out. I also added that there are other ways around sex to get pleasure lol :p

now i guess i have to value either having a good emotional connection with someone without sex or just drop it the whole thing and continue the hunt to better things.

[equilibrium48]

@SomeguyUK

She also told me she was going to call my friend today and talk it out with him that all she wants from him is friendship lol. But to be honest i still feel like theres something between them even though she says there isnt

[SomeguyUK]

Well, maybe she is just being honest and she really didn’t think anything could happen between you two.

But part of me can’t help wondering if she started giving your friend all this attention for a reason, i.e maybe she is trying to play you in some way.

“now i guess i have to value either having a good emotional connection with someone without sex or just drop it the whole thing and continue the hunt to better things.”

Yep, I think you’re right. If you think this girl could be your one true love, give her a chance. Otherwise, don’t settle, you have other options.

[ryano]

who cares.. all this over analyzing is making me bored I cant even read you guys thinking about why she’s doing what blablabla.

and equilibrium, i wouldnt take what girls say at face value. they’re greating at lying to appease. for all you know she told the other guy you’re her platonic friend too.

anyway just do whatever you feel like doing there are no rules here accept just do what makes you happy. my only recommendation is to put yourself in priority. never sit in the sidelines watching another dick pursue a girl you want. and im glad you gave her the valentine’s card that’s chick crack.

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