October 12, 2014 at 1:55 pm #71804
I am back in student life and I visit the library quite often (being ever so diligent). I see quite a few hot girls around. We have a general floor where talking is allowed and the atmosphere is good, but I have no idea how to engage.
Can anyone please help?
Thanks a lot !!!
ZhelyazkoOctober 12, 2014 at 4:07 pm #71805SomeguyUKParticipant
I have had good results in book stores and coffee shops just saying ‘hey, what are you reading?’.
Maybe ask her what time the library closes. If she knows the answer you can say ‘you whipped that answer out pretty quick, you must be one of those girls that studies all day and night’. She will probably feel compelled to let you know she’s not a total geek, which will open up the door to more conversation.October 12, 2014 at 4:55 pm #71807
@SomeguyUK you are a wizz my friend.
Just tested it and I approached a girl. Had some chit-chat. I am still too nervous and not confident enough to get results, I think, but at least I have something to say.
ZhelyazkoOctober 12, 2014 at 7:23 pm #71811SomeguyUKParticipant
I would suggest to do the same as me at this point – don’t think about getting results, just try to get comfortable and lose your nervousness 🙂October 12, 2014 at 8:53 pm #71817
this: hey, what are you studying?
then observe her reaction. if she’s not friendly, ignore her and go back to what you were doing. and don’t even be polite back to her. if she’s friendly, keep talking to her.October 12, 2014 at 9:09 pm #71819
A few other tips:
1. try to smile when you say “hey, what are you studying?”. most likely you won’t be able to out of nervousness but do your best. if you can’t smile, that’s fine too. all i’m saying it’ll work better if you do. (see smashing pumpkin’s song “disarm you with a smile”)
2. after you ask this question introduce yourself and talk about the normal college bullshit. what’s your major, how do you like school, etc.
3. after you’ve done #2 a few hundred times with hundreds of girls, graduate to flirting with them more because you’ll notice that if you don’t flirt (ie create sexual tension) girls will get bored of you and will flake on you. because it’s in girls inherent nature to always look for sex. as I explained in a recent post on this forum. don’t ask me why this is so, or why God invented them this way. but out of thousands of approaches this is what I have found. so flirting is actually a pre-requisite to getting laid. it’s a REQUIREMENT. sure you’ll find the nerdy girl that doesn’t mind if you flirt or not. but i’m talking about how to get the blonde hot cheerleader type and/or get ANY girl for that matter. ie flirting is the general theme that attracts girls. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=how+to+flirt
4. you’ll notice that when you’re doing this opener “hey, what are you studying?” some girls won’t be nice and will be downright rude. if you’re working next to them just say “cool” and get back to what you were doing. and then put your headphones on and sit in the tension. that’s right. let the tension wrap itself around you and around her. but sit in it. if you do this a few hundred times you’ll notice that it doesn’t effect you at all. when that happens, it’s like this magical thing where girls will notice you “don’t give a fuck” and will be automatically drawn to you because to them it just conveys leadership. — note: this is for girls that you were sitting next to initially. if you approached them then this does not apply. you can just walk away if they’re not receptive.October 13, 2014 at 10:06 am #71836
Thanks for the info guys. I will do some in field testing, mhm mhm 🙂October 13, 2014 at 2:38 pm #71837The_HurricaneKeymaster
In the beginning, situational openers are great because they give your mind an excuse to approach her. Before you are truly comfortable, it feels like you need that excuse, that plausible deniability. You approached her because you wanted to know what she was reading. You approached her because you’re lost and need a Starbucks. But the truth is there is no excuse, and there doesn’t have to be one. You’re approaching her because she’s hot, and if you took away that book she’s reading, you’d still want to approach her. That’s why you shouldn’t lean too heavily on these situational openers. They are not your real reason for being there and if you come to depend on them, you will quickly find yourself in situations where you cannot approach the girl you want because there isn’t a perfect situational excuse. After you are socially comfortable, start weaning yourself off these situational openers and moving towards something more generic. What do I mean by something more generic? I mean something you can say to any girl in any situation. That’s what I do. I say the same thing each and every time. The actual situation is irrelevant.
–LeeOctober 13, 2014 at 2:58 pm #71838
I hear you, and what you are saying does indeed feel genuine, but:
if the girl is just sitting on her own at a table and I go and sit next to her I feel like either I have to go direct (which I prefer not to do in this context) or if I go indirect I need a reason. It feels off to just sit down and say “you look like you are having deep thoughts about something”. Like she will think- “ok I know why he is here, but he is not admitting it”.
Am I over-thinking things? Is it okay to just go “deep thoughts” or something similar on a girl in this situation (mind you, this is my uni library so I cannot go to excesses I usually can afford).
ZhelyazkoOctober 13, 2014 at 4:30 pm #71839
few things to do in this context.
1. you sit down next to her open a few books and only hit on her after a few minutes with “studying anything interesting?”. ie act like you werent there to hit on her.
2. you approach her, sit down and do a soft direct approach: “hi, i see your studying.. i’ve seen you here before.. I just wanted to say hi”. make it quick. dont overstay your welcome. just ask for the number and leave.
me personally, I would just hit on her directly. college is a social place an if u find someone attractive just let them knoow and see what their situation is. stop pussyfooting.October 13, 2014 at 4:54 pm #71841
also in the library don’t be loud.. you don’t want others to overhear you. she’ll reject you if she senses in any way that she has an audience or she feels embarrassed. so speak quietly and respect her privacy.
if there’s someone next to you just give her a note.
to give you an example, sometimes when i’m on the subway car and there’s alot of people, and it’s really quiet. i’ll just hand a girl my phone where I write in the little text editor.
“hi, i think you look really nice.. can I get your number?”October 13, 2014 at 4:55 pm #71842The_HurricaneKeymaster
You think that girl doesn’t know why you are approaching her? Do you normally go up to guys and ask what they’re reading? If she’s cute, your motives are just as obvious to her with your situational opener as they are with a direct opener. When you choose a situational opener and you really don’t want to subject yourself to judgement, you better choose one that is not so transparent. But even if you choose the best situational opener in the world, if she doesn’t already know why you’re there – which most cute chicks do – she’ll find out during the transition. The first thing that comes to her mind is not “Oh, wow, how smooth!” The first thing that comes to her mind is “He didn’t have the balls to tell me why he’s really here.” That’s why the transition is hard. It’s not just a point of judgement. It’s actually a point where many men lose value by revealing that they didn’t have the balls to make their intentions known up front. The longer they wait to transition, the harder it is because the deception grows with time. That having been said, let me repeat what I said in the previous post. There are two stages to learning social dynamics. The first is social comfort and the second is game. If you’re working on your social comfort, use whatever means you can to get into as many conversations as you can. Game comes later, when you really don’t care if she knows why you’re there.
–LeeOctober 13, 2014 at 5:35 pm #71844dyonisosParticipant
Lee, when you use your “deep thoughts” opener you dont express your intent right away either, are you?October 13, 2014 at 5:47 pm #71846
@ryano, Thanks, it seems to be working for you. I do not think the approach you advocate is for me though.
@The_Hurricane Lee, Thanks for the advice. Of course, anything i can to get to to practice with the ladies.
From what you are saying it is difficult for me to understand the point of the indirect approach. You are saying that a cute girl will almost always know why you are approaching her. What is the difference between direct and indirect then? If in both cases she knows you are there because she is hot…
You have said in previous posts that you do not want to subject yourself to immediate judgement by going direct. But if she knows you are approaching her because she is sexy even when going indirect. Than aren’t you subjecting yourself to the same kind of judgement? Apologies, I just don’t get when I should be using direct, and when I should be going indirect?
Sorry for the long post!
ZhelyazkoOctober 13, 2014 at 5:49 pm #71847
Just to add to that, please. You advocate using NON-situational indirect openers (e.g. “deep thoughts”) or did I misunderstand you?
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